Q. Whats the difference between a lawn mower and a saxophone?

A: Vibrato.

Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light-bulb?

A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about
how much better Michael Brecker would have done it.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light-bulb?

A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say Not bad,
but I couldve done better.

Q: How do you make a lead guitarist slow down?

A: Put some sheet music in front of him.

So this trumpet player dies, see? And when he reaches his everlasting
reward, the guy in the robe says, Youre going to spend eternity with
this combo, OK? Theres a bass player named Mingus and a pianist
named Monk, and any day now we expect this Blakey guy to show up
with his drums. Wow! the guy says, I never imagined heaven would be this
good. So the guy in the robe says, This is hell, not heaven. Theres
a girl singer.