A Collection of T Shirt sayings
-Son of Baglady
-Pity the poor egg: it only gets laid once
-The Hunchback of Notre Dames secret mantra: Oh mommy pat my
hump.
-Whats good for Ugoose is good for Uganda.
-We have them just where they want us.
J. T. Kirk
-Id rather have Lockheed deliver the mail than ride around in a
plane built by the post office.
-Just because youre not paranoid doesnt mean theyre not out to
get you.
-I figure Im pretty good with the bullshit but I love listening
to an expert. Keep talking.
-Money cant buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a
couple of hours.
-The meek shall inherit the Earth after were done with it.
-The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the
ground and miss. –Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
-Love is blind but like is just too freaked out to see straight.
-Reality is a crutch for people who cant face drugs.
-When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.–Art Denman
-Sex is a disrobic experience
-Beam me up, Scotty. Theres no intelligent life down here.–J.T. Kirk
-Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from
mediocre minds.–Albert Einstein
-Time flies when you dont know what youre doing.
-Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
-We are the people our parents warned us about.
-Dont take life too seriously. Youll never get out of it alive.
-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
-How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
-There is intelligent life on Earth, but Im just visiting.
-Power means not having to respond.
-Onward, through the fog.
-Never kick a man unless hes down.
-Everything you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.
-We should forgive our enemies, but only after theyve been taken
out and shot.
-The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that
youve got it made.
-Im not as dumb as you look.
-Id like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
-Everyone needs belief in something. I believe Ill have another
beer.
-How can I love you if you wont lie down?
-Id rather be pissed off than pissed on.
-You can find sympathy between shit and syphilis in the
dictionary.
-When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble,
delegate.
-To err is human. To forgive is unusual.
-Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.
-Im not going deaf. Im ignoring you.
-Im the person your mother warned you about.
-How can I tell you I love you when youre sitting on my face?
-God is dead and I want His job.
-Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-I can tell youre lying. Your lips are moving.
-Our parents were never our age.
-Nothing was ever accomplished by a reasonable person.
-Theres nothing more restful than taking orders from fools.
-Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
-In the country of the blind the one eyed man is lynched.
-He who laughs last has not been told the terrible truth.
-Its hard to soar like an eagle when youre surrounded by
turkeys.
-When Im good, Im very good. But when Im bad Im better.–Mae West
-Im really enjoying not talking to you, so lets not talk again
real soon, okay?
-He who laughs last didnt get the joke.
-Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.
-You cant fall off the floor.
-Death is the greatest kick of all. Thats why they save it for
last.
-Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me.–Mae West
-Im not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.
-I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
-I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with
the lost.
-Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints.
-Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.
-Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
-I worship the ground that awaits you.
-The future isnt what it used to be.
-I wish you were a beer.
-I want to live forever or die in the attempt.
-Love means telling you why youre sorry.
-Love your enemies. Itll make em crazy.
-Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
-I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
-Im having a party in my pants. Want to come?
-Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be
impossible?
-Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness.
-Better dead than mellow.
-If I follow you home will you keep me?
-A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine.
-There is no gravity. The Earth sucks.
-Bureaucrats do not change the course of the ship of state. They
merely adjust the compass.
-The difference between meat and fish is that if you beat your
fish it dies
-Its better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and
not have it.
-You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a
kind word.
-Dont think of organ donations as giving up part of yourself to
keep a total stranger alive. Its really a total stranger giving
up almost all of themselves to keep part of you alive.
-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to
the stupidity of your action.
-Drink wet cement: Get Stoned.
-Kite fliers keep it up longer.
-My human experience is just beginning (This one on a little
kids shirt)
-If you dont know what youre doing, do it neatly.
-An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a
complex, incomprehensible truth.
-You have a right to your opinions. I just dont want to hear
them.
-Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to
you for the rest of the day.
-Nuke the whales
-Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands; meet exciting,
unusual people and kill them.
-Well get along fine as soon as you realize Im God.
-Life is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less
shit you have to eat.
-I dont know. I dont care. And it doesnt make any difference.
-Those of you who think they know everything are very annoying to
those of us who do.
-When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one
Ive never tried before.
-Its not that you and I are so clever, but that the others are
such fools.
-If you cant dazzle em with brilliance, baffle em with
bullshit.
-Im not cynical. Just experienced.
-The torture never stops.
-Ignore alien orders.
-I know you think you understood what I said, but what you heard
was not what I meant.
-Im not wearing any underwear. Film at 11.
-Bend over. Ill drive.
-I dont have a drinking problem.
I drink,
I get drunk,
I fall down,
No problem.
-Save our beaches. Harpoon a fat chick.
-We dive at five.
-Id walk over you to see the Who.
-Its hard to be humble when youre as great as I am.
-Im for lust.
-I want a meal, not a snack.
-Bullshit Detector. When alarm sounds, please re-engage your
brain.
-The word today is Legs … Spread the word.
-Biodegradable