A man is walking down the beach one day and he finds a lamp. He gives it a rub and out pops a genie. The genie says Since you have released me from my prison you can have three wishes, but with these wishes there is a catch. Whatever you get your mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a minute and says For my first wish I want fifty million dollars.He thinks for a little while longer and says For my second wish I want to be adored by the ten most beautiful women in the world. The genie says You do realize that your mother-in-law gets double of what you just wished for right? The man nods and says For my third wish I want to be beaten half to death

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, “I will give you three wishes.” The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, “I want a beer that never is empty.” With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes. The man says, “I want two more of these.”

A man is walking on the beach and he spots a bottle. He rubs the bottle and a genie comes out. The genie says Im too tired of granting 3 wishes…this time you only get one, What will it be? The man say Well ive always wanted to go to hawaii but since I can;t afford a plane ticket can you build me a bridge from california to hawaii. The genie say Well thats way to difficult for , you know the construction workers and all that. Make another wish. The man says Ok so my other wish is ……Well Ive always wanted to understand women .you know like what they are feeling and there emotions. So the genie say So about the bridge..2 lanes or 4?

Early one morning, Jerome was walking along a beach. In the sand he found a brass lamp. He decided to rub the lamp and a beautiful genie appeared.

Jerome, being quite a bright lad, said I have released you from your prison and you must grant me 3 wishes.



The Genie said That is true but my powers are rusty. You will have to come back tomorrow.



Jerome replied Oh, but I cannot wait till tomorrow, because I am a student and must take my finals exams then.



The Genie responded, Very well. I will write you 3 letters of acquaintance. Give one to each of the wizards whose address I have written on the letters and they will grant you a wish on my behalf.



Off Jerome went. On the way he wondered what to wish for and thought about his exams tomorrow. He suspected what some of the exam questions might be and thought why not be sure I have the correct answers. So he decided to ask the Wizards to unravel some perplex mysteries for him.



To the first, he asked to know the secret of how Caramel puts the caramel in their bars. Poof . . . the Wizard sent him to the Chocolate Factory and he discovered how it was done.



To the second Wizard, he asked how toothpaste could come out like a candy cane . . . with the red stripe down it. Poof . . . the Wizard send him to the Toothpaste Factory and he now knew how it was done.



To the third Wizard (whom he woke up) . . . he asked how the pyramids were built. Poof . . . Jerome found himself in the Egyptian Desert working with thousands of other slaves.

There was this man walking on the beach and he found a bottle. He rubbed it and a genie came out and said, I will grant you 3 wishes.

The man wished for money. POOF! The genie gave him billions of dollars – more than a man could spend in a lifetime.

The man wished for health. POOF! The genie gave him a perfectly healthy body.

The man wished for happiness. The genie raised his hands to grant the wish, then said, Master, I cannot do that. You need to find that happiness… in your heart. In return for the failed wish, the genie gave the man more money.

gavinfx@yahoo.com

There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. *POOF* A genie popped out of his pocket!!!

The very angry looking Genie said, Alright, I have had enough with this three wish stuff, and cuz you stole me away from my HBO Special, I will only give you one wish!

The suprised man said, OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge condo on the beach with three million dollars in the master bedroom, but I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii.

The genie replied with a smirk, Are you crazy? Do you know how long that will take, with the pillars going down to the bottom of the ocean, all the cement it would take for the highway? No Im sorry, it just cant happen.

The man said, Fine then, I want to understand women.

The genie said, Would you like two lanes or four?

Three chaps – an American, a Chinese, and a German – were shipwrecked on a
deserted island. The German found this smoky bottle. So he brought it back to
the other two, and they all opened it together. Well, a genie popped out! The
genie granted them each one wish under a condition he wanted to tell them later.
Of course, all three wanted to be back home.

The genie said he would grant them their wishes. But first, you must all do me
a favour. Mr. American, I want you to built me a restaurant here. Mr. German,
you will make the kitchen for this restaurant. Mr. Chinaman, you will get the
supplies for the restaurant. I will return in one month. At that time, if you
have satisfied my requirements, I will grant your wishes.

The German and the American started their work immediately. But the Chinese just
sat relaxed and enjoyed life. The others warned him to start his work. But the
Chinese said, I will do my wolk. Do not wolly.

Then about four days before the genies expected return, the Oriental
disappeared. The genie came back, just as he promised, and asked to be shown
what they had done. He was amazed by the restaurant. Five dining rooms, a
tremendous main lobby – all made of bamboo! It was a magnificent feat. As for
the kitchen – full utensils, running gas stoves, pots, pans – all made from
shells, bamboo, and coconuts. An absolute wonder!

But where are the supplies from Mr. Chinaman?

The two men said they did not know. All they knew was that he had disappeared a
few days ago and they had not seen him since then.

Suddenly from the shadows came the Oriental, shouting in a loud voice,
Suplise!

One day a man was walking down the beach and came upon an old lamp. remembering the stories of how these lamps contain genies, he began to rub it and out popped a genie. the genie,looking annoyed, said you are the fifth person this month to awaken me and i am tired of granting wishes. i am going to grant you only one wish so make it a good one.the man pondered for a moment and finally spoke, i like to travel to hawaii so build me my own personnel bridge there. the genie, in a bewildered voice said you must be crazy, it is impossible to build a bridge across the pacific ocean. do you realize how deep the water is? there would be no where to anchor the bridge supports. you must make another wish.

the man thinks for a few minutes and then turns to the genie and asks well then, tell me the secret to satisfying women. i want to know how to keep them happy and content.

the genie looks at the man and says do you want that bridge four lanes or six lanes.

There was a girl who found a bottle, it was dusty so she rubbed it and a genie came out saying, u have 3 wishes, but whatever u wish for, i get 2x as much.

so she said ok



i want a million dollars, so she got a million and the genie got doubled that



then she said a mustang, then the genie got 2 mustangs, she was mad so she said beat me half to death.

There was a guy who just got out of a really bad divorce with his wife. One day, he found a genies lamp.

The genie came out and said, Hello master. I will grant you three wishes but, what ever you wish for your wife gets double.
The guy didnt like that part but he made a wish anyway. For his first wish, he said,

Genie, I want a house in Hawaii. POOF!!! He got one house, his wife got two. This didnt make him happy but, he made his second wish.

Genie,I want 2 billion dollars. POOF! He got two billion, his wife four billion. By now, this guy isnt very happy. The genie says,You have one wish left. I have to remind you, what ever you wish for your wife gets double. The guy says, Yeah,yeah.I know. So the guy thinks real hard and says

I got it! Genie, beat me half to death!!