Ive heard theres a new programming language out from University of Tennessee. Its called Algor.

There are some problems with it though. The syntax is very formal and inflexible. And its not a very powerful language either, since it wont allow you to alter the operating environment. Its survival is also partially dependent upon an even slower and lower quality language called Blinton.

Personally, I dont think either will be around in four years.

Candidate Bill Clinton: Promised a guarenteed college education for anyone wanting one
President Bill Clinton: Proposing to spend $98 million–it will only cover 4,800 students in the freshman class at the University of Maryland

Candidate Bill Clinton: Promised 10% income surtax on millionaires
President Bill Clinton: Wants to impose the surtax on those with taxable incomes greater than $250,000

Candidate Bill Clinton: Would raise income taxes on families with incomes greater than $200,000
President Bill Clinton: Wants to raise income taxes on families with incomes greater than $30,000

Candidate Bill Clinton: Claimed to be able to reduce the deficit by taxing rich, foreigners, and corporate polluters
President Bill Clinton: Said he cannot reduce the deficit without taxing the elderly, motorists, and farmers

Candidate Bill Clinton: Promised workers he would require their employers to pay for retraining
President Bill Clinton: Put that idea on hold

What the country is talking about this week…

Big Brother 2 One contestant got booted for holding a knife to anothers throat. But he hopes to appear on COPS.
Tom & Penelope: Theres already a problem. She wants to keep her maiden name if they marry.
The Sopranos Executive producer David Chase has agreed to a fifth season for a reported $20 million. The more characters he kills off, the more he gets to keep.
The West Wing Several of the supporting characters want more money. There goes your tax cut.
Harrison Ford: He helped rescue a lost Boy Scout with his helicopter. After a car chase, a horse race, a knife fight, a snake pit, a chasm jump…
Nicole Kidman: Reports say she and Russell Crowe were vacationing on the same remote, primitive South Seas island. Australia.
Beijing Olympics: Theyre adding several new sports for 2008: the 200-meter Tank Dodge and the Dissident Javelin Catch.
Online movie tickets: Some theaters now let you print your tickets at home. Call me when they let us make our own popcorn.
Maximum security: An L.A. prisoner escaped jail using a fake ID with Eddie Murphys picture on it. From Shrek.
Theme parks: Attendance is down this summer, perhaps due to the price of gas and electricity. But the attendance at trailer parks is up.
Charlie Sheen: Hes selling his sumptuous L.A. bachelor pad. As soon as he gets all the keys back from his married friends.
Americas Sweethearts Finally, the long-awaited movie about George W. Bush and the giant oil company.
Emmy nominations: For the first time, there are categories for reality shows. Theyre not voted on – you race the other nominees to the stage for them.
Jurassic Park III The dinosaurs talk to each other throughout the movie. So did the people behind me.
MTV: Theyre celebrating their 20th birthday. In three years, so will most of their execs.

Copyright © 2001 Entertainment Weekly and Time Inc.

Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet.

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?

A: Turkey.

Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ?

A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.

Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ?

A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !

Q: What is the best Iraqi job ?

A: Foreign Ambassador

Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

A: None. They cant turn them on anyway.

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000,

000.

Q: How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time.

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?

A: You only have to teach them to take off.

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ?

A: B-

52…F-

16…A-10

Q: What is Iraqs national bird ?

A: Duck

Q: Whats the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ?

A: Aeroflot has killed more people.

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone ?

A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats ?

A: So they can see their Air Force.

Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ?

A: He elected to receive.

Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?

A: They need a map….

Why does Bill Clinton wear womens underwear on his arm?

Because he is trying to quit.

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans.

Q: What were the three toughest years in Al Gores life?
A: Grade six.

One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her and says, Honey, can I have a quickie?The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about womens rights and storms away.Cheney then says to Bush, George, its pronounced quiche.

Q: What is the difference between an intelligent liberal and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

This test has only one question, but its a very important one.
By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.You are in Florida, Miami to be specific.
There is chaos all around you, caused by a hurricane, with severe flooding.
This is a flood of biblical proportions.
You are a photo journalist working for a major newspaper, and you are caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless.
Youre trying to shoot career-making photos.
There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
Suddenly you see a woman in the water.
She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.
You move closer.
……Somehow the woman looks familiar.
You suddenly realize who it is. Its Hillary Clinton!
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under…….forever.
You have two options — you can save Hillary Clinton, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo documenting the death of one of the worlds most powerful women.
So, heres the question —–
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of Black and White?