These are actual excuses given by parents of school children:

Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
Excuse Helen. She has been under the Doctor.
John was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.
Please excuse Patricia from jim today. She is administrating.
Please excuse Alice for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Please excuse Vera. She is having problems with her ovals.