Old and New Jokes

A man walked into a pub with an Ostrich and a Pussy Cat. He walked up the the bar and said Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whisky for the cat. They found a table, sat down and drank their drinks.



Next it was the ostrichs round. He walked up to the bar and said Beer for me, beer for the man, whisky for the cat. He took the drinks back to the table and they drank them.



When it was the Cats turn to buy, he told them to Fuck off!



So the man went back to the bar and said Beer for me, beer for the ostrich and whisky for the cat.



The Barman was curious about this and said I notice that you and the ostrich have both bought a round but the cat hasnt. Why is this?.



The man replied, I helped a little old lady across the road, and she turned out to be my Fairy Godmother. She granted me one wish.



What did you wish for? said the Barman.



I wished for a long legged bird with a tight pussy!