Old and New Jokes

Q: How many Tauruses does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One, but just *try* to convince them that the burnt out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

En una noche tenebrosa, un vampiro se hace acompañar por su hijo para enseñarle como chupar sangre. Después de atrapar a un incauto, le demuestra como hacerlo:

¿Entendiste como se hace?

Sí, responde el vampirillo.

En eso, ven a un borracho orinando y el padre le ordena:

Ahora, hijo, ve y chúpale la sangre.

Cuando el vampiro cree que su hijo lo va a lograr, se queda desconcertado:

Hijo, ¡¿qué haces?!

Es que me gusta chupar la sangre por el popote.

There were two kids one was named mind ur bisness and the other one was named trouble and they were playing in the woods and trouble got lost so mind ur bisness went to the police station and told the officer wat happened the officer said ok wat is ur name the kid said mind ur bisness wat is ur name son and the kid said mind ur bisness and the officer said r u looking for trouble and the kid said yea were is he.

Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.



Finally the 14 year old said to her 8 year old younger sister, Well, you just ask Mom. Shell tell you its much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel.

When a womans friend was having her third baby in four years, she volunteered to keep the older two children overnight. One night turned into several, and eventually the woman was running out of supplies. She asked her husband to go over and get some things from the friends husband.

Did he give you everything? she asked.



Yes, my husband said, grinning. A box of diapers, two sacks of clothing and the childrens birth certificates.

Matsushita Electric is promoting a new Japanese PC targeted at the
Internet. Panasonic has developed a complete Japanese Web browser,
and to make the system user-friendly, licensed the cartoon
character Woody Woodpecker as the Internet guide. Panasonic
eventually planned on a world version of the product.

A huge marketing campaign was to have introduced the product in Japan
last week. The day before the ads were to be released, Panasonic
suddenly pulled back and delayed the product launch indefinitely.

The reason: the ads featured the slogan Touch Woody – The Internet
Pecker. An American staff member at the internal product launch
explained to the stunned and embarrassed Japanese what touch woody and
pecker meant in American slang.

-From EE Times, October 8, 1996

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Do Pigs have Pen Pals?

how do u get sabrina to laugh on sunday?

Tell her a joke on wednesday

Q: What is the difference between the blonde male and the blonde female?

A: The female has the higher sperm count.