Chet Wolford tells this one:
An Erie, Pennsylvania executive with a new young wife and a yen for golf
decided about December one year that he couldnt take it any longer. So he
said to his wife one evening, Honey, next Friday were going to Hilton Head
for the weekend. Well get a condo on the golf course and Im going to play
golf all weekend.
That sounds fine, she purred. And, sure enough, next Saturday morning at 6
a.m., found him on the golf course, all alone. After playing two holes, he
noticed a man carrying a golf bag walking toward him across a fairway. The
exec. waited, and the other man arrived, saying, Mind if I play along?
The exec. said, Fine. Glad to have the company.
All went well for a couple of holes, until each approached the sixth green.
When the new fellow laid down his clubs, the cover came off one club. The
exec. noticed, however, that it wasnt a club at all. It was a high powered
rifle.
Whoa, he said. Thats a high powered rifle!
Look, said the other man. Im not out to cause any trouble. If you want me
to leave, I will. No hard feelings.
No. No, said the exec. Im just curious as to why you have a high-powered
rifle in your bag.
The other man pondered for a moment and then said, Well, Ill tell you. Its
my business. Its what I do for a living.
Wow, said the other. Ive heard about guys like you, but Ive never met one
before.
Still want me to play? said the other.
Sure, said the Erie exec. As a matter of fact, you know, I do a little
hunting. Would you mind if I look at it?
The other man showed him the rifle. It was beautiful–an inlaid Weatherby with
a huge powerful scope mounted on it.
The exec. picked it up, looked through the scope, and said, Gee, I can see the
window of my condo with this thing. Matter of fact, theres my wife. He
lowered the gun for a moment and said, she doesnt have any clothes on. He
looked through the scope again. Damn, theres a guy with her.
The Erie exec. lowered the rifle and looked at the other man. How much do you
charge?
$10,000 a bullet, said the man.
The Erie man thought for a moment, and said, Do it.
Which one? said the hit man.
Both, said the exec.
Thats $20,000, you know.
I dont care. hit em both.
The hit man took two cartridges from his bag and loaded the rifle. Where do
you want me to get the man? he asked.
You know where to hit him, said the exec.
How about the woman?
In the mouth. Shes always flapping her gums anyway.
Ok, said the hit man as he raised the rifle. Taking careful aim, he clicked
off the safety, but then he paused and chuckled. Mister, he said, I think
Im going to be able to save you ten thousand dollars.