Havent you ever had the urge to loose control when ordering that burrito or burger and drink combo?1. Ask for last months specials.2. Place your order in three different languages if you dont know any, make them up.3. When they repeat your order totally change it. Repeat as desired.4. Order a whopper from McDonalds, when they say they dont have whoppers insist that they do. If they still argue demand to see a manager then when you talk to them order a normal meal and say i dont know whats up with kids these days.5. Go to any burger joint and order Chinese.6. When ordering in the drive through, ask if its happy hour on draft beer.7. In summer turn stereo up full volume to Christmas music while ordering in drive through.8. Drive in the drive through, park, then go inside and order.9. Go through the drive through in reverse, again.10. Wait for the busiest time of day, after paying get out of car, get jack out of trunk and proceed to rotate tires.11. Check oil in drive through, possibly touch up the windscreen with some glass cleaner.12. Walk up to drive through window with hands in the air like your holding onto a steering wheel.13. Go through drive through and ask for directions to the place youre at.14. Go through drive through naked, excluding the rabbit slippers of course!15. Go inside and ask in a load voice if they got rid of the Ebola problems theyve been having16. Argue with your passenger (thats not there) and continue until you pay.17. When they ask if that will be all tell them to hold on, your dog wont make up his mind.18. After eating half your meal return it and say you got the wrong thing and ask for a refund.19. As youre pulling away and they say Have a nice day! (with that retarded smile) put the car in reverse and ask them what the hell thats supposed to mean.20. Order something from one fast food place then go to another drive through when they give you you
Did you know that Rita McNeil has a tatoo of Canada on her butt?
Ya, every time she bends over Quebec seperates!
(The World-Famous Margaliot Joke Hotline Selection follows:)
A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after
a long days trip he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills
out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting
in the lobby.
He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a
minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm.
Fancy meeting my wife here, he says to the clerk. Guess Ill need a
double room for the night.
Next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over
$3000. Whats the meaning of this? he yells at the clerk. Ive only
been here one night!
Yes, says the clerk, but your wife has been here for three weeks.
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Witold!
Witold who?
Witold you what to do!
Q: What key is Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight written in?
A: C sharp or B flat.
WOMEN SEEKING MEN Classifieds translations
Artist means: Unreliable
Average looking means: You figure this one out
Beautiful means: Pathological liar
Q: How many newsmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but hell tell everybody.
Q: How many IBM CPUs does it take to turn on a light bulb?
A: 33 – 1 to process the instruction and 32 to process the interrupt.
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
The little boy turned to his mother and said, Mama, I dont want to go out there. Its dark.
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. You dont have to be afraid of the dark, she explained. Jesus is out there. Hell look after you and protect you.
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, Are you sure hes out there?
Yes, Im sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him, she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, Jesus? If youre out there, would you please hand me the broom?
Q: What does a blond do when someone says its chili outside?
A: She grabs a bowl.