I dont use Listerine. They say it kills germs on contact
and I dont like the idea of things dying in my mouth.
12
Oct
12
Oct
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, Hey, we have a drink named after you!
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, You have a drink named Steve?
12
Oct
Have you heard about the new Barbie doll? Its called Divorce Barbie. It comes with all Kens stuff.
12
Oct
Goes Without Saying:
One nice thing about egotists: They dont talk about other people.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.
The older you get, the better you realize you used to be.
I doubt, therefore I might be.
Age is the price we pay for maturity.
Experience is the price we pay for immaturity.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Women like silent men, they think theyre listening.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
12
Oct
Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.
12
Oct
Here are the top ten things that men know about women!1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10. Periods?
11
Oct
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Alison!
Alison who?
Alison its dark outside!
11
Oct
Sign in a science teachers room: If it moves, its biology. If it stinks, its chemistry. If it doesnt work, its physics.
Sign in butchers window: Pleased to meat you.
Sign on auto body shop: May we have the next dents?
Sign at the dry cleaners window: Drop your pants here.
Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: Reserved for plant manager.
11
Oct
En el estadio, cada vez que un aficionado celebraba una jugada recibÃa de atrás un monedazo de otro hincha. Este volteaba a mirar pero no veÃa al responsable.
Después de varios monedazos volteó a mirar y descubrió al culpable, quien pensó que le iba a agredir pero el ofendido solamente dijo:
¡Claro, igualito a su mamá!
El hombre quedó totalmente confundido al no haber recibido otro tipo de agresión. Al finalizar el juego fue, le pidió disculpas y le dijo:
Por favor explÃqueme ¿qué me quiso decir con eso de igualito a su mamá?
Pues claro, igualito a su mamá, ¡tirando a escondidas!
11
Oct
Una pareja que acaba de conocerse va a hacer el amor por primera vez. Antes de empezar, ella le dice:
¿Eres médico, verdad?
¿Cómo lo has adivinado?
Por tu forma de lavarte las manos.
¡Qué chica más inteligente y observadora!, contesta él sonriendo.
Al terminar, ella dice:
¿Tu especialidad es la anestesia, verdad?
¡SÃ!, pero ¿cómo lo has adivinado esta vez?
¡Porque no he sentido nada!