Mildred: Would you like to go the movie with me? Maxwell: Im already going with Agnes. Mildred: Ill hold your thingie if you go with me. Maxwell: Agnes says shell hold my thingie Mildred: Whats Agnes got that I dont? Maxwell: Parkinson’s.
29
Dec
29
Dec
What do you get when you cut a banana in two?
A BANANA SPLIT!
29
Dec
You might be a redneck if…
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"
28
Dec
Advanced Parking: Reversing Into A Space.
Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior: Leaving the Towels on the Floor.
Water retention: Fact or Fat.
28
Dec
From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.
Who is that man… and why is he so upset? a passenger asks the ships captain.
I have no idea, says the captain, but, every year when we pass by here, he goes crazy.
28
Dec
Q: What did one gay frog say to the other?
A: Rub-it Rub-it
28
Dec
A gorilla was walking thru a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared, Whos the king of the jungle?, and the deer replied, Oh, you are, Master.
The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared,Whos the king of the jungle?, of course, the zebra replied, You are, master.
The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant. Whos the king of the jungle?, he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him.
The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, Ok, ok, theres no need to get mad just because you dont know the answer!
28
Dec
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a
foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and…
28
Dec
Never lie down with a woman whos got more troubles than
you.
28
Dec
A New Jersey farmer mowed down a 60-foot-wide swastika someone had hacked out in his cornfield.
The farmer says he has no idea how it got there, but Johnny Robish has a theory: Fascist pigs.