Knock Knock
Whos there?
Diane!
Diane who?
Diane to meet you!
03
Oct
03
Oct
Its better to retire too soon than too late.
03
Oct
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
– Two Can Chew
03
Oct
In 1852, Boston police arrested Emma Snodgrass for wearing pants. In those days, women were not allowed to wear pants.
This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, starring at a girl wearing the tightest pants hes ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, and he walks over and asks, How do you get into those pants?
The young woman looks him over and replies, Well, you could start by buying me a drink.
Sandy (AKA Ms Sam)
http://www.chucklesofchoice.com
03
Oct
A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. Second, he had to wrestle with a grizzly bear. And last, he had to make love to an Athabascan Indian woman.
No problem, said the cheechako, and off he went. He hired himself a guide, and soon had dispatched his first duty. Then they found the grizzly bear.
The cheechako chased the bear into a cave. The most awful roaring and screaming emitted from that cave, along with blood and fur.
Finally, the cheechako staggers out of the cave. Okay, he said to the guide. Wheres that Indian woman Im supposed to wrassle!
03
Oct
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: For Women Only. Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works…
We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. Its easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you whats inside.
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads:
All the men on this floor are short and plain. The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: All the men here are short and handsome.
Still, this isnt good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: All the men here are tall and plain.
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: All the men here are tall and handsome.
The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: There are no men here.
This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman!
02
Oct
What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
02
Oct
So a guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants.
When he walks up to the bar and orders a drink, the bar tender
says:
Gee that must be a bit annoying mate
The guy replies: Yeah, its driving me nutts!
02
Oct
Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
02
Oct
Its easy to turn a computer on – just flip the switch.
Virtual dancing baby easier to care for than real one.
Less threat of Kenneth Starr investigation.
No trips to the doctor if you catch a computer virus.
The low cost of commitment: only $19.95 in ISP charges.
Monitor size doesnt matter.
Easier to hide a laptop if someone walks in.
You never spend a penny on deodorant, perfume, or Mentos.
Everybody assumes clinton@whitehouse.gov is just an alias.
No need to say, I have a headache – just claim you couldnt dial into your AOL account.