A man was out driving in his car when all of a sudden a rooster ran out in front of his car, he tried to miss it but unfortunately he ran over the rooster & killed it.
He decided that he should go & tell the farmer, so he got out of his car & walked across the road to the farm, walked up to the front door & knocked, the farmer came to the door & the man said Im afraid Ive killed your rooster, please let me replace him.
The farmer said Help yourself, the hens are out in the back.
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse – after hearing both sides about the separation, the judge spoke. Im sorry Mickey, but I cant legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane. Minnie seems completely rational to me. Mickey replied, I didnt say she was mentally insane, I said that shes f*cking Goofy!
A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down.
Is this yours? he asked.
She said, Yes, could you bring it up? and the man agreed.
On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed.
Shortly afterwards she said, Im about to have dinner. Theres plenty; would you like to join me? He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, Ive had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night?
The man hesitated then said, Do you act like this with every man you meet?
No, she replied, Only those who catch my eye!
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: It wasnt on purpose. Through the course of natural friction, his keys wore through the innards of the pockets. Being bald, on top of this, is inconsequential.
gavinfx@yahoo.com
Un médico tenÃa una aventura con su enfermera. Un dÃa ella le dijo que estaba embarazada. Para evitarse problemas, el médico le dio una fuerte suma de dinero y le pidió que se fuera a Italia y tuviera allá a su bebé.
¿Pero cómo te voy a avisar cuando el bebé nazca? le preguntó ella.
EnvÃame una postal y escribe en ella Espagueti.
La enfermera tomó el dienro y voló a Italia. Seis meses después la esposa del médico le habló a su consultorio y le dijo: Cariño, recibiste una postal muy extraña hoy y no sé lo que significa.
Cuando el médico regresó a casa esa noche, leyó la postal, y cayó fulminado por un ataque cardiaco.
Entonces la esposa levantó la tarjeta y leyó, Espagueti, espagueti, espagueti, espagueti. Dos con salchicha y albóndigas y dos solos.
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? Ive got a splitting headache.
Certainly, honey, he said, and feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, Say, said the druggist, arent you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?
Yes, I am, said the officer.
Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chiefs uniform?
What game did Bill Clinton want Paula Jones to play?
Swallow the leader
When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and
bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade
route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him,
with old, dirty clothes on. The the guys amazement, when the Pope came, he
went over to the bum, and whispered something in his ear. Enraged, the guy
went over to the bum and offered him $100 for the clothes off his back. Next
day, he went back to the parade dressed like a bum. Sure enough, when the
Pope came, he stopped in front of this guy, and whispered in his ear, I
thought I told you to get the hell out of here!
It was hell, recalls former child.