12
Oct

Vasectomy time

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife/cousin did not want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.

The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (big firework), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, I may not be the smartest man, but I dont see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.

So the couple drove across the state border into Georgia to get a second opinion.

The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama.

The doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians couldnt be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

12
Oct

Le pregunta el profesor a

Le pregunta el profesor a Pepito: ¿Pepito, cuál fue la reina que ayudó a Cristóbal Colón para que hiciera su viaje a tierras indias? Profe, una ayudita. Le contesta el profesor: La reina de Espa… la reina de Espa…

La reina de espadas, profesor.

12
Oct

Se renen un francs, un

Se reúnen un francés, un alemán y un tontilandés para aclarar cual de sus esposas es la más pendeja.

Inicia el galo:

Oui, mi esposa es la más pendeja: ella mandó construir una alberca en la casa y ni siquiera sabe nadar.

Es el turno del germano:

No, la más pendeja es mi esposa: ¡imagínense que se compró un Mercedes y ni siquiera sabe manejar!

El de Tontilandia remata:

¡Joder, que la más pendeja es mi esposa! Se va de paseo una semana en un crucero por el Caribe con dos amigas y compró tres cajas de condones… ¡Y ni siquiera tiene pito!

12
Oct

Eran dos maricones, Lalo y

Eran dos maricones, Lalo y Pepe, y una vez decidieron irse a acampar a la playa. Acomodaron todo en un Pick up, y para que no se mojara nada de lo que llevaban, cubrieron todo con una lona.

Cuando iban por la autopista, la velocidad del vehículo y el viento de la costa, desataron la lona. Pepe se dio cuenta de que la lona iba suelta y le advierte a Lalo:

¡AY, LALO, LA LONA…!

Y Lalo, pensando que lo estaba vacilando, le responde:

¡Y TU, PEPE PEPONA!

12
Oct

Redneck Meal

Q: How many rednecks does take to eat possum?

A: Three. One to eat it and two to look out for cars.

12
Oct

A Letter Home

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply cant think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.



Love,

Your $on.





———————————————————————-



Dear Son,



I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.



Love,

Dad

12
Oct

There was this Father from

12
Oct

I dont use Listerine.

I dont use Listerine. They say it kills germs on contact
and I dont like the idea of things dying in my mouth.

12
Oct

Bar… Grasshopper

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, Hey, we have a drink named after you!
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, You have a drink named Steve?

12
Oct

Divorced Barbie

Have you heard about the new Barbie doll? Its called Divorce Barbie. It comes with all Kens stuff.