How can you compare a lite beer to making love in a canoe? Its fucking close to water!
16
Jul
15
Jul
Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes twelve steps.
15
Jul
Doctor Watson was told by Sherlock Holmes gardener that there was a doubtful looking schoolgirl in Holmes bedroom. Watson heard strange muffled sounds coming from the bedroom and, fearing that Holmes was danger, broke down the door to find Holmes and the girl indulging in a 69.
Good God Holmes! said Watson, What kind of a schoolgirl is this?
Elementary, my dear Watson, Elementary.
15
Jul
Hillary and Chelsea are sitting around the table having a mother/daughter talk.
Hillary asks Chelsea, You have been going to college for awhile now. Have you had sex yet?
Chelsea says, Well, not according to Dad.
15
Jul
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Zinnia!
Zinnia who?
Zinnia on TV – You look shorter!
15
Jul
Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.
15
Jul
Different people look for different things in the Ten Commandments.
Some are looking for divine guidance, some for a code of living, but
most people are looking for loopholes.
-Sam Levenson
15
Jul
The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary.
He shouted at him, Is this what I pay you for?
The manager replied: No, sir, this I do free of charge.
15
Jul
An American has sex with a Soviet emigre woman. The next day his prick turns black. He runs to a doctor and asks, Doctor, is this some weird venereal disease?
Worse, says the doctor. Its frostbite!
15
Jul
The mouse is referred to as a critter.
There is a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
The password is bubba.
Windows 2000 has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.
Outgoing faxes have beer stains on them.
The printer goes really slow since Bubba dont read too fast.
The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.
The menus all have Budweiser, Black Label, and Old Milwaukee options.
The monitor is up on blocks.
And, The Number One Way….
There is a skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.