A youngster devoted an entire rainy indoors afternoon to a drawing he was doing with varicolored crayons. His mother finally looked over his shoulder, and, puzzled, asked Whos that youre drawing, son?The son answered, God.Dont be silly, reproved the mother. Nobody knows what God looks like.Not even pausing in his task, the son announced calmly, They will when Im finished!
26
Jul
25
Jul
The patient shook his doctors hand in gratitude and said, Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.
That is very kind of you, said the doctor emotionally, and then added, Can I see that prescription I just gave you? Id like to make a little change.
25
Jul
Theres a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, Come on man, I was just joking. Here, Ill buy you another drink. I just cant stand seeing a man crying.
No, its not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and Im late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.
25
Jul
Secret Service are agents expected to testify that Monica Lewinsky was in the
oval office with the President unescorted for 40 minutes, But everything
was O.K, she was just giving the President a debriefing.
25
Jul
Q: Why arent there many blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
25
Jul
So this guy wants to go into a nightclub, but the bouncer says –
Sorry, bud, you need a tie for this place.
Our Hero goes back to his car and rummages around, but theres no necktie to be found.
Finally, in desperation, he takes his jumper cables, wraps them around his neck, ties a nice knot, and lets the ends dangle free.
He goes back to the nightclub, where the bouncer says…
Well, OK, I guess you can come in. But dont start anything!
25
Jul