Why do blacks have white on their hands?
Its where they were hung to be spray painted.
04
Dec
04
Dec
A pony walks into a bar and says Bartender, may I have a drink?
Bartender says What? I cant hear you. Speak up!
May I please have a drink?
What? You have to speak up!
Could I please have a drink?
Now listen, if you dont speak up I will not serve you.
Im sorry, Im just a little hoarse.
04
Dec
A woman goes to the doctors and says, Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me. Every time I go to the bathroom, DIMES come out!
The doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week.
A week later the woman returns and says, Doctor, Doctor, its gotten worse! Every time I go to the bathroom, QUARTERS come out!! Whats wrong with me?
Again the doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week. Another week passes and the woman returns and yells, Doctor, Doctor, Im still not getting better! Every time I go to the bathroom, HALF-DOLLARS come out! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!!
The doctor says, Relax, Relax,… youre just going through your change!
04
Dec
A blonde is driving along a deserted country road with fields on either side. She looks out the window and sees another blonde in the middle of a field, in a rowboat rowing and rowing. She stops the car, rolls down the window, and yells, "You know its blondes like you who give the rest of us blondes a bad name!" Getting no reaction from the blonde in the rowboat, she screams, "If I could swim Id come out there and punch you out!"
03
Dec
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
Hed toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth.
In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date.
After being informed of the problem, their daughters date said he could get the peanut out.
The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the fathers nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy.
The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat.
Once he was gone the mother turned to the father.
The mother said, Thats wonderful. Isnt he smart? What do you think hes going to be when he grows older?!
The father replies From the smell of his fingers, our son in-law!
03
Dec
Here are some actual bumper stickers reportedly seen on cars around the DC area:
HONK! If you had sex with the President
Clinton: We forgive you…Now Resign!
Al Gore: One heartthrob from the Presidency
Adultery IS NOT a family value
Does character matter YET?
One More Whore And We Get Gore
Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat
My President Fooled Around with Your Honor Student
Jail to the Chief
Today kids no longer play doctor, they play President
The Clinton Creed: Take Credit Not Responsibility
If his private life doesnt matter, let him date your daughter.
Save the President: Legalize Perjury
Two terms for Clinton: the second in jail
Clinton: Our Nations Fondling Father
03
Dec
How do you make a blonde go crazy?
Place them in a round room, and tell them to stand in the corner!
03
Dec
Q:what did the deer say to the man?
A:stop shooting my family bitch
03
Dec
It is possible to amuse the cat.
03
Dec
A: Is it mine?