How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes?
Pull down their genes!
28
Jul
27
Jul
27
Jul
Two gentlemen were discussing the prospects of looming retirement. While one guy had lots of hobbies. The other fellow had no hobbies, and was rather concerned about being set loose with nothing to do.
The first guy suggested his friend go visit his kids. The man said, Well, I only have two kids, but I could buy a motor home and go visit my brothers and sisters, that would take about a year.
The first guy looked a bit puzzled, so his friend said, Im one of eighteen kids in my family.
The first fellows eyes got rather large, contemplating eighteen children, so the man volunteered to explain.
The problem was, my mother was hard of hearing. With a big grin he added, My mom and dad would go to bed at night, and my dad would ask, Do you want to go to sleep, or what? and my mom would say, What?
27
Jul
Some years ago, on Times Square in NYC, I observed a native American, in full Indian regalia, feather head dress, buckskin clothes, etc.
As a pretty woman would walk by, he would raise his right hand, in an Indian greeting, and say Wanna .
I watched this ritual for about 20 minutes, and I became more curious as he kept making these greetings. Finally, I couldnt resist any longer. I went up to the native American, and said, I have been watching you, and I am confused. I thought that Indians say How
He turned to me, obviously quite annoyed, and said…
ME KNOW HOW…ME TRYING TO FIND WOMAN WHO WANNA!!
27
Jul
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, You should do it because you get up first, and then we dont have to wait as long to get out coffee.
The husband said, You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.
Wife replies, No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.
Husband replies, I cant believe that, show me.
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says! ………. HEBREWS
26
Jul
He was an inventor of note. He created a big shoe with a phone in the heel. Now, he thought, he could use a phone whenever he wanted. He made several more so that he could have several shoes with phones in the house. One day, an emergency came up and he needed a phone bad. Would you believe it, he couldnt find a single phone boot.
26
Jul
27. If you celebrate when you find a quarter
26
Jul
From Elaine Booslers cable special Party of One.
Theres this company that makes a shampoo called
Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific. I hope they dont
start making feminine hygiene products.
26
Jul
A husband and wife were lying in bed one night. (Since they have small
children, the universal-parent coding system for sex is washing machine.)
The husband turned to his wife and said in a seductive voice, washing
machine. The wife, being the hard working parent she is, was tired
and she said, Not tonight, dear; Im tired. He rolled away.
Five minutes later, he rolled back over and repeated Honey, washing machine.
She said, Ive got a headache.
He rolled away again. Ten minutes later, the wife, feeling guilty, turned
to her husband and said, OK, washing machine.
He replied. Thats OK. It was a small load and I did it by hand.
26
Jul
About a month ago the President of the United States decided he had to get laid. Going to a high-class whorehouse, he found a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette waiting in the douwnstairs lounge.
Im the President of the United States, he said to the blonde. How much will it cost me to spend a little time with you?
Three hundred dollars. was her answer.
To the redhead he posed the same question. She replied, Five hundred dollars.
He made the same proposition to the brunette.
She replied, Mr. Preisdent, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes, lower my panties as far as my wages, get your dick as hard as the times, keep it hard for as long as I have to wait in line at the store, keep me warmer than my apartment in the winter, and screw me like you do the public, believe me, Mr. President, it isnt going to cost you a dime!