Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers that, If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy.
No, Clinton says, That would be an ACCIDENT.
A girl raises her hand. If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside…that would be a tragedy.
Im afraid not, explains Clinton. That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.
The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.
What? asks Clinton, Isnt there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?
Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy.
Wonderful! Clinton beams. Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?
Well, says the boy, because it wouldnt be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!
Posted in Doctor |
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. Youre adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. Youre using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, Hows my driving? Call 1 800 ******.
6. Everyones head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Youre convinced theres a God and hes male.
8. Youre counting down the days until menopause.
9. Youre sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
Posted in Gender humor |
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Posted in One Liners |
What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?
They both have boys pants half off.
Posted in Celebrity |
Q: What do you get when you give Bill Clinton a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Posted in Political |
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the
worlds population.
Posted in One Liners |
A zealous Christian who was trying to convert a Hindu found himself getting nowhere. The thing is, argued the frustrated Christian, you have to be born again! But I have been born again! insisted the Hindu. And again and again and again …
Posted in General / Unsorted |
The mother had the tough job of telling her daughter, who had just returned from school, that her dog Paddy had died. The daughter said OK and went out to play.
An hour later she came into the house and asked where Paddy was. I told you that Paddy died the mother said.
At this the girl started to cry bitterly.
Why are you crying now, and when I told you before, you didnt cry?, the mother asked.
Paddy!!, the girl responded, I thought you said Daddy!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days?
It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.
Why cant blondes make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
Why dont blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they cant fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
Why dont blondes double recipes?
The oven doesnt go to 700 degrees.
What does a blonde make best for dinner?
Reservations.
Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
Why was the blonde housewife mad at her husband?
He was out shooting craps and she didnt know how to cook them.
Posted in Blonde |
Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said: Well, George Washington couldnt tell a lie. Richard Nixon couldnt tell the truth. And George W. Bush cant tell the difference.
Posted in General / Unsorted |