A naked lady standing on the street in the combat zone, flags down a
cab, hops in and says, Take me to Georgetown.

The cabby replies, Come on lady, what are you going to pay me with?
You dont even have a handbag.

The lady smiles, opens her legs and points saying, With this of
course.

After thinking for a moment, the cabby replies, Have you got anything
smaller?

It was a hot summer day and two nuns were painting a room in the convent.

As there was no air conditioning the heat soon became unbearable. The first nun said that they should remove their clothes so that they would be cooler.

The second said what if someone should come?

The first said well lock the door and then we will be safe. So they lock the door and continue painting when there is a knock on the door.

The first nun asks who it is and the reply comes back It is the blind man.

The two nuns confer and decide that the blind man cant see anything and let him in, at which time the man says Nice tits sisters, where do you want these blinds?

What goes Clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG clip clop clip clop

clip clop?

An Amish drive by shooting!

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
Theyve experienced pain and bought jewellery.

Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton & Ernesto Zedillo are having drinks in Paris.

The waiter asks Laperitif?

All of them answer Oui!

The waiter looks at Zedillo Le tequila?

Zedillo: Oui!

The waiter looks at Yeltsin Le vodka?

Yeltsin: Oui!

Finally, the waiter looks at Clinton Le whisky?

Clinton: DONT YOU MENTION THAT BITCH!!!

Yo mama so short she models for trophys.

Bush got a coded message from Saddam.
It read: 370HSSV-0773H

Bush was stumped and sent for the CIA. The CIA was stumped too, so it went to the NSA.

The NSA couldnt solve it either, so they asked Bill Clinton.

He suggested turning the message upside down …

Venancio va a enviarle un radiomensaje a Manolo:

¿Me indica su PIN?

Claro… ahora lo recuerdo… mmmm, pues… ah, sí, 12345678.

¿Cuál es el mensaje?

Manolo, pasa por mi casa, que has olvidao tu pager.

Un día en la escuela la profesora estaba pasando lista:

¿Lola Lopez?

Presente.

¿Miguel Soles?

Presente.

Y así sigue, hasta que llega hasta Pepito, que era el mas vulgar.

Pepito Angulo.

Me pica el culo.

La profesora sale enojada del salón de clase y se va donde la directora, esta le dice que diga el nombre al revés y punto.

Al día siguiente pasa lista muy confiada:

Reyes Adrián.

Presente.

Hasta que llegó donde Pepito, pensando te jodi, Pepito.

Angulo Pepito.

¡Me pica igualito!

Yo mama was fired from the sperm bank because she got caught drinking on the job!