Old and New Jokes

Yo mama so fat even her clothes got stretch marks.

There were three men who worked in this resteraunt. One man was a singer who can only say MI MI MI. The second man can only say GOODI GOOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI. The third man was a French chef and the only words he can say in English are CUT AND CHOP CUT AND CHOP.

One day, a police offcer comes into the restaurant and tells the three men that there has been a murder in this town and asked if any of them committed the murder.

The singer says MI MI MI, then the police officer asked how he did it, to which the second man replied, CUT AND CHOP CUT AND CHOP

Then the shocked officer said You know your going to jail for this, and the other man said GOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI GOODI!

A man walks up to the bartender and says, I bet you $100 dollars that I can stand on your bar and leak into a jar without spilling a drop.

The bartender laughs and tells him that is it such an impossible bet, hell take it. So the man stands up on the bar, and cheering to his friends in the back, begins to leak.

He not only misses the jar, but doesnt even get a single drop in. He pisses all over the bar and floor and over the bartender. When he is done the bartender is still laughing and asks the man to give him the hundred bucks. The man hands over the money and smiles at the bartender.

The bartender asks him what is so funny when he just obviously lost so badly. The man replies, I just bet my friends $1000 that I could leak all over you and your bar and not only would you not mind, but you would find it hilariously funny!.