There once was a man who wanted to go fishing so he asked his wife if she wanted to go fishing or not and she said NO. So the man said you can either go fishing, take it annal, or give him a blow job. He told her to think about it while he put the dog in the truck. When he came back she said she would give him a blow job. So she did five minutes later she stops and said this tastes like shit. And he said the dog didnt want to go fishing either.
15
Apr
15
Apr
Calorie:
Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average
individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.
15
Apr
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, Ya know, I reckon Im bout ready for a vacation. Only this year Im gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didnt get pregnant again. Luther asks Billy Bob, So, what you gonna do this year thats different?Billy Bob says, This year Im taking Earline with me!
14
Apr
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, Gentlemen, start your engines.
14
Apr
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Moose!
Moose who?
Moose you be so nosy!
14
Apr
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
111. Punch a hole in the T.V. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the poor picture quality.
14
Apr
– Take him for a drag.
14
Apr
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news, which shall I tell first? Patient: Uhhh, well, give me the bad news first, I guess.
Doctor: You only have one week left to live. Patient: Oh no! What good news can you possibly tell me now?
Doctor: Well, you know that really hot-looking nurse who just came in here? Im taking her out to dinner tonight, and who knows where the night will end!
14
Apr
Q. Why did the punk cross the road?
A. Because the Chicken was stapled to his forehead!
13
Apr
Sentado en una nube se encontraba un angelito maricón tocando su arpa y cantando boleros.
No se tú, pero yo no dejo de pensar…
Las estrellitas del cielo ya estaban hasta la madre, pues el angelito cantaba refeo, y una de ella decide hacerlo callar.
La estrella agarra vuelo y ¡cuaz! se le mete por una oreja al angelito. Este empieza a sacudir la cabeza, diciendo: ¡Ayy, zonza, déjame, fuchi, ayyy! y logra sacarse la estrellita, la cual se retira de volada.
Vuelve a cantar el angelito maricón: La puerta se cerró de tras de tÅ, y la estrellita toma vuelo y se le mete ahora por la boca. El angelito la escupe y le empieza a pegar con el arpa.
La estrella, para esconderse, se le mete por la cola al angelito, y éste nada más deja escapar un gemido, Hhhmmmmmmm… El Angelito, se sienta de nuevo en su nubecita, y empieza a cantar: ¡Que se quede el infinito sin estrellas…!