Q: Why did the chicken cross the Atlantic?
A: To attend D-Day celebrations.
14
Jan
14
Jan
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing. God nodded in agreement.
The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away (as they say in basketball, nothing but net). A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him.
God smiled. Think about it — who can he tell?
14
Jan
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Grapes!
Grapes who!
Grapes suzette!
14
Jan
A Jewish mother sends her son a red sweater and a blue sweater for Channukkah. He is soon going to visit her but cant figure out which sweater to wear. Having become completely stressed, he finally chooses the blue sweater, puts in on, and heads for his mothers house. She opens the door and instead of making sure he arrived alright, simply asks him, What, you didnt like the red sweater?
13
Jan
Una vez una monjita caminaba fuera de su convento, cuando se encuentra a un borracho tirado en la calle.
Al verla, el borracho se levanta, se acerca a ella y la empieza a masacrar: dos patadas, tres puñetes, dos llaves inglesas (mismo Titanes en el Ring), y cuando la monjita ya no podÃa ni pararse, el borracho le dice: Me decepcionaste, BATMAN.
13
Jan
Cuando Neil Armstrong pisó la luna por allá por el año 1969 se llevó una gran sorpresa y comenzó a comunicarse desesperadamente con Houston.
Aló Houston. Acabo de descubrir que no fuimos los primeros en llegar a la luna.
¿Cómoooo? Acaso fueron los rusos?
¡Nooo!
¿Los franceses entonces?
¡Tampoco!
¿Los japoneses?
¡Menos!
¡Buenooo! ¿Quién chuchas fue entonces?
¡Los chilenos!
¿Por qué estàs tan seguro que fueron los chilenos?
Porque aquà hay una piedra que tiene escrito: ¡AL LUCHO LE GUSTA EL PICO!
12
Jan
Q: How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, astronomers prefer the dark.
12
Jan
Wet manure is slippery. – OSHA discovery
12
Jan
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you cant understand
12
Jan
Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties?
To find a tight Seal.