Most people dont know that back in 1912 Hellmans mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.
Mexicans were crazy about the stuff.
The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate(desperados) at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today.
It is known, of course, as …Sinko de Mayo.
Posted in Pun Fun |
A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed
on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new
game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the
pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly
along it at the water edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their
heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn
around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite
direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the
paper reports, The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins
fall over gently onto their backs.
Posted in Military |
Psychiatrist: What is your problem? Patient: I think Im a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Olive, the other reindeer.
(all of)
Posted in General / Unsorted |
In a small town in California there lived two boys, Shut-up and Trouble. These boys were friends, but every once-in-awhile they would get into a fight. One time after they had both just gotten ice-cream, Troubles ice-cream fell. Trouble then stole Shut-ups ice-cream and ran away. Shut-up ran after Trouble but eventually lost him, sat on a curb, and started to cry.
A police officer pulled up and asked, “Whats your name?”
“Shut-up.”
The officer got angry and asked the same question again and got the same reply. Finally, he asked the same question and got the same reply and then said, “Boy, are you looking for Trouble?”
And Shut-up said, “Yeah, that fool stole my ice-cream!”
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Why do priests wear shorts in the shower?
They dont like to look down on the unemployed.
Posted in Religious |
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee: Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are at… VERY SLOWLY?
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said…
Burrrrrrrr, Gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing
Posted in Blonde |
Se encuentran en el consultorio del veterinario un perrito Poudle con un Pastor Alemán. El pastor le pregunta:¿Por qué te trajeron aqu�
Responde el perrito:Resulta que la vecina tiene una perrita y el otro dÃa estaba con la colita parada, me fui por atrás y se lo puse. Mi dueña se enojó y me van a cortar las bolas. ¿Y a ti por que te trajeron?
Responde el Pastor: Mi dueña estaba bañandose en la piscina desnuda, y cuando salió de la piscina se agachó y yo me fui por atrás y se lo metà entero.
¿Y también te van a cortar las bolas entonces?
No. Me van a cortar las uñas.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Your so poor you push the doorbell and your
mom sticks her head out the window and says ding dong.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
Posted in One Liners |