Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.
I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession.
The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. Im a cop, says the first man. Then we will shoot your penis off!, said the sheik.
He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. Im a firemen, said the second man. Then we will burn your penis off!, said the sheik.
Finally, he asked the last man,And you, what do you do for a living? And the third man answered, with a sly grin, Im a lollipop salesman!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore?
A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.
Posted in Political |
If you do not know what youre doing, do it neatly.
Posted in Business |
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them.
The beech says to the birch: Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?
The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling.
The birch says Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
New Polish navy has glass bottom boats, to see to the old Polish navy.
Posted in Ethnic |
Q: How many Beverly Hills residents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they have a service come in and do that.
Posted in Lightbulb |
A man in a bar stands up and proclaims, All Lawyers are ASSHOLES!
A man at the front of the bar stands up and says Hey! I resent that!
So the first man asks, Why are you a lawyer?
NO! Im an asshole!
Posted in Lawyer |
In old Russia, two beggars sat next to each other in a district where few Jews lived. One held a sign saying Please help the war veteran, and the other holds a sign saying Please help a poor Jew.
People pass by and even those who didnt intend to give money to either of them, give to the first beggar to upset the Jew. Finally, one day a good man passes by, gives money equally to both, and then says to the Jew: Why dont you change your sign? Dont you understand that nobody will give you any money? and walks away. As he goes, the Jew turns to the other beggar and says: Chaim, he would teach us business…
Posted in Jewish |
An eagle was kept in captivity for 50 years and it had managed to escape. And ofcourse this eagle had not had any sexual intercourse for 50 years.So this eagle was flying round and saw a dove. It flew down, done some business with this dove and flew off. The dove looked up and said Im a dove, i made love, and i liked it.Now this eagle was flying around again and saw a blue tit. So it flew down, done business with this blue tit and flew away. Then the blue tit looked up and said Im a blue tit, i had a bit and i liked itSo now this eagle was flying over this pond and looked down and saw a duck. So it flew down to this duck but the duck looked up and said Im a drake, you made a mistake!!
Posted in Naughty |