Old and New Jokes

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.

30. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.

It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Learn to be sincere. Even if you have to fake it.

Dont do today that which can be put off till tomorrow.

Q: What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?
A: They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.

Q2: Whats the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?
A: He knows who the ten men were.

A man enters a bar and orders ten beer. He drinks them and orders ten more. The bartender asks:
Why do you drink that much ?

Man: today was the first time in my life I had oral sex

Bartender: Thats indeed a reason to celebrate

Man: No, Im trying to wash away the taste

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent.

What do you call two blacks sleeping together in a sleeping bag?

Twix

The following is an excerpt of an article in the April issue of Saturday Night magazine by John Fraser the (now) former editor.

For those who dont know, the province of Ontario has set in place a policy of zero tolerance for harassment and discrimination at universities. This excerpt really pokes fun at the potential misuse and abuse of such a policy.

Dear H & D officer,

I am a female graduate student with an alternative lifestyle. Our history department has invited an international scholar named Simon Schama to lecture here next month. The title of his talk is Dykes and Discord: The role of land reclamation in 17th century Dutch domestic policy. Posters have been plastered all over our campus, causing snickering, and I have been made to feel uneasy. Does the FRAMEWORK have any remedy?

You bet it does! There is zero tolerance for anything that makes you feel a loss of self-esteem, and the FRAMEWORK clearly states the visitors on campus should be subject to complaints if they engage in prohibited conduct.

Depending on how your academic administration chooses to police the FRAMEWORKS guidelines, you have a range of options – from demanding prior access to the visitors lecture to cancellation of the lecture itself and having the visitor barred from campus.

As for posters, they clearly come under the grounds of poisoning the work or study environment, and the FRAMEWORK is very specific about this : A complainant, it says, does not [even] have to be a direct target to be adversely affected by a negative environment. It includes conduct or comment that creates and maintains an offensive, hostile, or intimidating climate for study or work.

If Im not mistaken the quotations are direct quotes from the zero tolerance policy.

Laugh, its OK … for now (insert dramatic military music here)

One night a blonde goes to a bar, but doesnt drink. Then she walks up to a man and asks him where she lives. The man says I doent know.

Then she walks into her husband and asks if he will take her home? Hes says ok. Their home and they walk in and the blonde says why are you in my house? Her husband says why did you leave the house?

The blonde asks why couldnt I leave?


Husband says because we were suposed to do it. She asks why were we suposed to do it? Because Im your husband.


The blonde says no your not my husbands a red head.

Husband:?????????????????????????????????