Old and New Jokes

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isnt affected). Then look at your neighbors keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: Does *your* delete key work? Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until youve deleted about a page of your neighbors document. Then, suddenly exclaim: Well, whaddya know? Ive been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasnt deleting! Ha! Print out your document and leave.

40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmers Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

4. Sneaking in the bosss desk could land you an unexpected promotion.

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling Im here, the phantom of the opera until they drag you away.

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turets Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

6. Write a program that plays the Smurfs theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you dont know.

10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also tranquilizers.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentines Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks hes Gods gift?
A: Exchange him.

WOMENS COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK

Never marry a man for money. Youll have to earn every penny.

Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

Parties: Going Without New Outfits.

Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game.

Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.