Old and New Jokes

Here is a basic descriptions of what may happen if an airplane had a specific operating system running.

CAIRO: The airplane is distributed among 47 different hangars in 13 airports scattered over 8 states, 4 Canadian provinces, and a remote mountain hideaway in Nicaragua. But you dont need to know where the airplane is or who it belongs to in order to fly it. Actually, you dont fly the airplane itself; you fly a simulation that behaves just like the real thing except that you dont go anywhere. But thats okay, because when the world is at your fingertips you never need to leave home.

Dot Matrix – Eino Matrixs wife

Keyboard – Where youre supposed to put the keys so the wife can find them

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

George Bush virus: Doesnt do anything, but you cant get rid of it until November.

Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had clearned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

Terminal – Time to call da undertaker.

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five hundred.

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.

7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

21 to flame the spell checkers.

49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.

20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.

32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb.

69 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.

41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this mail list.

106 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.

12 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

8 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.

2 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.

15 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add pointedly, Me Too.

6 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

9 to quote the Me Toos and happily add, Me Three!

3 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.

24 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here.

53 votes for alt.lite.bulb.

Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.

Laptop – Where the grandkids sit