Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: (Paul Simon) My media experts tell me Im foolish for wearing my hair the same way I did in the 50s. But thats what Paul Simons all about. And I suppose my media experts are gonna say Im foolish for this, but in all candor, I change my light bulbs the same way I did in the 50s: my wife gets on a ladder and I turn it.
31
Dec
31
Dec
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It doesnt matter, they dont have any electricity anymore.
31
Dec
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to light a candle and say its just as good as electric light.
31
Dec
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
31
Dec
Q: How many MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how its done.
31
Dec
Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but dont expect results.
31
Dec
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
31
Dec
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
31
Dec
Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to change the bulb, and 5 to take the credit when it explodes.
31
Dec
Q: How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seventy six-one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulbs right not to change and twenty five to hold a counter protest.
Note : Columbia was the most politically active of the ivies back in the 1960s.