President Bush, Dan Quayle, Ross Perot, and Bill Clinton all traveled together to see the Wizard of Oz. Upon arrival, they were brought to see him.
First, President Bush went to see the Wizard and said, Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart. So the Wizard said, So be it.
Second was Dan Quayle. He told the Wizard, People think Im unintelligent and have no common sense whatsoever. I want a brain. The Wizard said, So be it.
Third to ask the Wizard was Ross Perot. People say I have no confidence, and I lack conviction. I wish to have some courage. The Wizard granted this wish as well.
And then Bill Clinton approached the Wizard. The Wizard looked at him and said, Well, what do you want? To which Clinton replied, Im here for Dorothy!
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Clinton: (C)razed (L)ow-class (I)diot (N)ow (T)aking (O)ver (N)ation
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Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax?
A: Because they could spell it.
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A man dies, and hes looking in the gates of hell.
There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, Well, Jack has done some bad things in his life and thats his punishment.
The man looks around a little more and sees Bill Clinton with a beautiful model. The stunned guy asks Whats Bill Clinton doing with that model? The devil replied, Well, that model did some pretty bad things in her life.
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The good news about Clintons health care is that everyone will be covered. The bad news is that it will be with dirt.
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Clinton: (C)learly (L)oose (I)nternal (N)avigation (T)echniques (O)ccupy (N)ever-Neverland
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Clinton: (C)razy (L)iberal (I)ntent (O)n (N)eedlessly (T)rashing (O)ur (N)ation
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Q: What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone?
A: He turned into Hillary!
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One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washingtons ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked, George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?
Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did, advised George.
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? Clinton asked.
Cut taxes and reduce the size of government, advised Tom.
Clinton didnt sleep well the next night, and saw another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincolns ghost. Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? Clinton asked.
Go to the theatre.
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Bill and Hillary were going down a back road and stopped at a gas station.
As the worker was filling up their car, he said to Hillary I went to high school with you. She recognized him and agreed with him.
Later as they were driving down the road Bill said If you had married him you wouldnt be married to the President.
Hillary said Oh yes I would–he would be President.
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