Old and New Jokes

Do whatever your enemies do not want you to do.

Thoreaus Theories Of Adaptation: 1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a programs commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure. 2) After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar bug in the system, the system is revised, the bug taken away, and youre left with a useless routine. 3) Efforts in improving a programs user friendliness invariable lead to work in improving users computer literacy. 4) Thats not a bug, thats a feature!

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Real programmers dont announce how many times the operations department called them last night.

For every idiot proof system devised, a new, improved idiot will arise to overcome it.

Fifth Law of Procrastination: Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that there is nothing important to do.

Anthonys Law of Force: Dont force it, get a larger hammer.

It all starts off one day when Hillary Clinton dies and she goes to heaven.



When she finally gets up there she sees over a million clocks around heaven, so she asks one of the angels why are there so many clocks up here?





The angel says each clock has a name on it and the name of that person is still in earth, when that person lies the clock ticks one second.





So Hillary said OK.





Then she asked if she could check out some famouse peoples clocks, the angel said ok.







So they went around heaven and they saw different peoples clocks, and of course once and a while they would go and turn one full second.





So about 10 minutes later she asks may I see my husbands clock?





The angel says sorry its upstairs with Jesus.





Hillary says why?





The angel replies he was getting pretty hot so he took it with him to use it as a fan.

In order to get a loan, you must first prove you dont need it.

It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isnt too good either if you speak when your head is empty.