There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed.
The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that ight that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. The choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.
The American was afraid of needles and didnt want to be hanged so he chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and when they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happened a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.
The Torontonian was also afraid of needles and didnt want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didnt work and he was free.
Next it was the Newfies turn. He said, Im afraid of needles and the electric chair wont work so I pick hanging.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Posted in Yo Mama |
Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.
Posted in Yo Mama |
Parasites par-uh-sites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist farm-uh-sist: A helper on the farm.
Polarize po-lur-ize: What penguins see with.
Posted in Terms and definitions |
Un dÃa la maestra le dice a los estudiantes: Para mañana tienen que decirme cuales son sus dos colores favoritos.
Entonces pepito piensa en el rojo y violeta y va por todo el camino a su casa: rojo, violeta, rojo, violeta. Se acuesta a dormir, rojo y violeta…
Al otro dia va camino a la escuela repitiendo rojo y violeta, finalmente llega al salón y la maestra pregunta: Rosita, ¿cuáles son tus dos colores?
Rosita contesta: Amarillo y verde.
La maestra pregunta: Eliezer, ¿cuáles son tus dos colores?
Eliezer contesta: Anaranjado y verde.
La maestra pregunta: Juan, ¿cuáles son tus dos colores?
juan, el negrito de la clase, contesta: Rojo y violeta.
Por fin la maestra le pregunta a Pepito: ¿Y tus colores cuáles son?
Y pepito furioso contesta: Negro carbón.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Un par de amigos estaban bebiendo en un bar, cuando uno entre sollozos le dice al otro:
Hermano, ayer encontre a mi mujer haciendo el amor con otro hombre en mi propia casa y en mi cama.
No lo puedo creer, pero dime ¿tu que medidas tomaste?
¡Pues que medidas voy a tomar si todo lo tenÃa adentro!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.
He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?
In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims, – Damn, some asshole has my pen!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Q: What has four legs and an arm?
A: A happy pit-bull
Posted in General / Unsorted |
An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.
Where did you get such a great bike? asked the first.
The second engineer replied,
Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, Take what you want.
The second engineer nodded approvingly, Good choice; The clothes probably wouldnt have fit.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Kenya!
Kenya who?
Kenya guess who is it?
Posted in Knock-knock |