Old and New Jokes

Q: How many Apple programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but why bother ? Your light socket will just be obsolete in six months anyway.

En la clase de Jaimito dice la profesora:

A ver niños, tenéis que decirme órganos a pares, ¿vale? Empieza Juan.

Pues las orejas, señorita.

Muy bien, Juan. Ahora tú, Pedro.

Los pulmones, señorita.

Muy bien. A ver, ahora tú Jaimito… ¡pero cuidado que nos conocemos!

La churra.

Jaimito observa que la maestra pone mala cara y se defiende:

Sí señorita, porque mi padre tiene una churra, así de pequeñita, para hacer pipí; y otra, así de grande, para que mi madre se lave los dientes.

Érase una inocente princesa que paseaba por el bosque y que encontró en una charca el momento adecuado para refrescarse. En eso, oye una voz que le dice:

¡Hola!

Pero allí no había nadie y, pensando que se trataba de su imaginación, decidió continuar refrescándose la cara, cuando volvió a oír:

¡Hola, estoy aquí!

La princesa observó que se trataba de una ranita. Ésta le dijo a la inocente princesa que se trataba de un príncipe que había sido encantado por una malvada bruja y que si dormía bajo la almohada de una inocente princesa, se volvería otra vez príncipe y conseguiría la fortuna perdida. La princesita, que era muy inocente, la llevó al castillo, la puso bajo la almohada y se durmió.

Y este es el cuento que le contó la princesa a su padre, cuando al día siguiente la encontró con un tío en la cama.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

A replacement of old bugs with new bugs.

To get to the shell station.

There were these three guys, a Polish guy, an Italian guy, and a Jewish guy. They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they noticed that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet together and say that today when the boss leaves, theyll all leave early too.



The boss leaves and so did they. The Jewish guy goes home and goes to rest so he can get an early start the next morning. The Italian guy goes home and cooks dinner. The Polish guy goes home and walks to his bedroom. He opens the door slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss, so he shuts the door and leaves.



The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking about going home early again. They ask the Polish guy if he wants to leave early again and he says, No. They ask him why not and he says, Because yesterday I almost got caught!

From Operating System Concepts, 3rd Edition by A. Silbershatz, J.
Peterson, and P. Galvin: In the section introducing
multiprogrammming, the book makes an analogy to try to make things
clearer:

[..discussion of CPU switching from job to job instead of waiting for
I/O to finish on current job…]

This idea is quite common in other life situations. A lawyer does
not have only one client at a time. Rather, several clients may be in
the process of being served at the same time. While one case is
waiting to go to trial or to have papers typed, the lawyer can work on
another case. With enough clients, a lawyer never need be idle.
(Idle lawyers tend to become politicians, so there is a certain social
value in keeping lawyers busy.)

Koala bear walks into a bar and picks up a woman. Takes her back to his place and perfoms oral sex on her. After satisfying her he just gets up to leave.

She insist that he stay longer. He hands her a handout from Australlia that idetifies him as an animal that eats bushes and leaves.

(I heard this from an MIT grad, who says its a classic).

A student pushes a loaded shopping cart up to the express checkout
lane at a Cambridge grocery store. The cashier looks at the cart,
looks at the student, looks at the EXPRESS–EIGHT ITEMS OR LESS
sign, and says to the student, Are you from Harvard, where they
dont know how to count, or MIT, where they dont know how to read?