A guy and his friend go to a little coffee shop, and
the guy orders a hamburger. The guy behind the counter
spits in his hands and rubs them against each
other, grabs a chunk of ground beef from a dirty
bowl with flies flying around, and spits on the
grill. Then he puts the chunk of beef under his
armpit to make a patty and then throws the patty on
the grill.
The guy ordering the hamburger looks at his friend
and says, God damn, that is gross. The friend
says, Thats nothing, you should see how he makes
the donuts.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Q: Whats the best job a dumb blonde ever had?
A: Vice-president of the United States.
Posted in Political |
9. Thy external identifiers shall be unique in the first six characters, though this harsh discipline be irksome and the years of its necessity stretch before thee seemingly without end, lest thou tear thy hair out and go mad on that fateful day when thou desirest to make thy program run on an old system.
Posted in Computer |
A little boy named little Johny runs upto his mom from outside and says Mommy, can little girls have babies?
Oh course not replies the mom and starts chopping some onions.
Great! Then little Johny runs outside and yells ITS OK! WE CAN PLAY THE GAME AGAIN!
Posted in Tasteless |
Llega un borracho a su casa, a las 4 a.m., cantando a todo pulmón; sale su mujer y le reclama:
¡Cállate, que todo el vecindario se va a despertar!
¿Y qué?, prefiero ser borracho conocido que alcohólico anónimo.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Oye Venancio, ¿quieres oÃr mi nuevo chiste?
Está bien Manolo, cuenta.
Di trece.
Trece.
¡La cola se te enverdece!
Venancio va fascinado con el chiste de Manolo y se encuentra a un amigo.
A ver, te voy a contar un chiste.
Bueno.
Di trece.
Trece.
¿Cómo iba? A ver, di otra vez trece.
Trece ¡caray!
Bueno, no me acuerdo como va, pero te va a salir una rama verde por el culo.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldnt drive…
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Two Golfers were approaching the first tee.
The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend – Hey, why dont you try this ball. He draws a green golf ball out of his bag.
Use this one – You cant lose it!
His friend replies, What do you mean you cant lose it?!!
The first man replies, Im serious, you cant lose it.
If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it.
Obviously, his friend doesnt believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend says, Wow! Thats incredible! Where did you get that ball?
The man replies, I found it.
(Think about it… itll come to you
Posted in Golf |
What did the Jewish pedophile ask the little girl?
– Hey, little girl, you want to buy some candy?
Posted in Ethnic |
Do you know why Mexicans eat refried beans?
– Have you ever heard of one doing something right the first time?
Posted in Ethnic |