Those industrious Japanese have found a way to make a buck on the AIDS scare.
Seems theyve come up with a way to make a car tire out of 365 used condoms.
They call it a GoodYear.
28
Oct
27
Oct
Yo mama has a glass eye with a fish in it.
27
Oct
Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!
27
Oct
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into get a sponge.
27
Oct
Three generations of prostitutes were on vacation and discussing their profession when the youngest mentioned how upset she was that she was only recieving $100 dollars to give a blow job. Her mother then told her of how about 25 yrs. earlier she herself had only been getting $50 dollars for a blow job. The grand mother, after hearing all of this pipes up and says, I remember back during the Great Depression, we were just happy to get something warm in our stomach!
27
Oct
La maestra da clases sobre nutrición y pregunta al grupo:
Niños, ¿cuál es la mejor leche para el consumo humano?
Juanito levanta la mano y contesta:
La leche Alpura, maestra, porque está pasteurizada.
Muy bien, Juanito, ¿quién más tiene otra respuesta?
Rosita asegura:
Yo digo que es la leche Lala porque está pasteurizada y homogeneizada.
Pepito levanta la mano y brinca desde su asiento. Ante tanta insistencia la maestra accede:
Está bien, Pepito, dinos ¿cuál es la mejor leche?
Bueno, maestra, yo creo que es la materna.
¡Muy bien, Pepito! Ahora dinos por qué.
Ay, maestra, no será pasteurizada, ni homogeneizada… ¡Pero qué presentación tiene!
27
Oct
Un negro se encontró una lampara mágica de la cual sale un genio que le dice que solo puede concederle tres deseos porque esta muy cansado.
El negro le dice: quiero ser blanco y al momento su piel se hace blanca, maravillado el ex-negro le pide al genio que convierta a su mujer en blanca, y va corriendo a su casa para comprobarlo y se encuentra a su mujer con la piel blanca, el ex negro contento a más no poder, decide esperar a su hijo para preguntarle si quiere ser blanco, y cuando llega éste le dice:
Hola hijo.
El hijo le dice: Yo a usted no lo conozco.
Pero soy tu padre y querÃa preguntarte si quieres ser blanco.
A lo que el hijo responde:
Pero papá, yo quiero seguir siendo negro estoy conforme con mi raza.
Pero hijo, si eres blanco la sociedad te va a aceptar y te trataran mejor.
No, papá, yo quiero ser negro y me avergüenzo de ti por pedirme que sea blanco. Y el hijo se va de la casa llorando.
Entonces el ex-negro dice:
No llevo ni 10 minutos como blanco y ya tengo lÃos con estos negros desgraciados!
27
Oct
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday
4. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
5. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After the Game
6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His
8. Valuation: Just Because Its Not Important to You . . .
9. Communication Skills I: Tears – The Last Resort, Not the First
10. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
11. Communication Skills III: Getting What You Want, Without Nagging
12. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
13. Party Etiquette: Drinking Your Fair Share
14. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
15. Introduction to Parking
16. Advanced Parking: Reversing Into A Space
17. Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior: Leaving the Towels on the Floor
18. Water retention: Fact or Fat
19. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
20. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not For Human Consumption
21. Cooking III: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
22. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
23. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
24. Dancing: Why Men Dont Like To
25. Sex – Its For Married Couples Too
26. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
27. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
28. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
29. Ballet: For Women Only
30. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
31. Learning to Go in Public Rest rooms
32. Appreciating the Humor of the Three Stooges
33. Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big? – Why Men Lie
34. TV Remotes: For Men Only
27
Oct
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a
beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping
stops. The others look at him curiously.
Thats my pager, he says. I have a microchip under the skin of
my arm.
A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm
to his ear. When he finishes he explains, Thats my mobile phone.
I have a microchip in my hand.
The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna.
In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending
from his ass. The others raise their eyebrows.
Im getting a fax, he explains.
27
Oct
A mother had three daughters and, on their wedding night, she tells each one to write back about their married life.
To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to use newspaper advertisements as a code to let the mother know how their love lives are going.
The first one gets married and the second day the letter arrives with a single message, simply: Maxwell House Coffee.
The mother got the newspaper and checked the Maxwell House advertisement, and it says, Satisfaction to the last drop…
So the mother is happy.
Then the second daughter gets married.
After a week, there was a message that read: Rothmans Mattresses.
So the mother looks at the Rothmans Mattresses ad, and it says, Full size, king size.
And the mother is happy.
Then it comes to the third ones wedding. Mother is anxious.
After four weeks came the message: British Airways. And the mother looks into the British Airways ad, but this time she fainted.
The ad reads: Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways.