Heres the last installment of politically correct TV shows coming up in the fall TV season, complete with ratings supplied by Big Brother (offensive to the politically correct, the Clintons, AIDS, Branch Davidians, etc.):

Saturday nights shows:

Robert Reichs Money World (formerly Adam Smiths Money World): Top-down income distribution programs that really work.

Ratings: S/MU, WW, ALG.

[Robert Reich is President Clintons liberal Secretary of Labor.]

Sunday Night at the Movies:

The Program: In this new version of the 1993 Disney release, a down-on-his-luck coach (James Caan) gets the best effort possible from his talented-but-cocky players in a charity badminton match to benefit pediatric AIDS. Edited for TV.

Ratings: S/MU, RPSE.

Saturday Nite Lite:

Host: Reformed comedian Andrew Nice Clay.

Skits include humorous look at rehab clinics, an adolescent Nice Clay being picked on by the school bully, Branch Davidians as victims of second-hand smoke.

Musical guest: Recovering addict Roger Clinton.

Ratings: S/MU, PCMM.

Ratings key:

S/MU: spiritual or moral uplift;

ISS: implied safe sex;

WW: win-win solution to intractable social disease or problem;

ALG: ameliorated liberal guilt;

VATCOT: violence avoided through court-ordered therapy;

PCMM: potentially contradictory moral message;

RPSE: reinforcement of positive self-esteem.

From the April 1994 issue of Reason magazine. Copyright 1994 by the Reason Foundation, 3415 S.Sepulveda Blvd., Suite 400, Los Angeles,CA 90034.