Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.
–Roseanne Barr

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to
someone who will leave them alone. –Elayne Boosler

If men were as great lovers as they think they are, we women wouldnt have time to do our hair. –Marlene Dietrich

If men can run the world, why cant they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your
neck? –Linda Ellerbee

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back. –Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps
they should live next door and just visit now and then. –Katherine Hepburn

Boys will be boys and so will a lot of middle aged men. –Kin Hubbard

I dont want to sound sexist here, but I think men do make better mall Santas: Men have bigger bellies, men are used to sitting for long periods of time, and men have lots of experience making promises they have no intention of keeping. –Jay Leno

Theres a large amount of evidence saying that the mans point of view is largely irrelevant. –Ralph Noble

Men are gluttons for punishment. They fight over women
for the chance to fight with them. –Vincent Price

A bachelor needs inspiration in order to seduce a woman, a married man only needs an excuse. –Helen Rowland

Theres very little advice in mens magazines, because men dont think
theres a lot they dont know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, I
know what Im doing, just show me somebody naked. –Jerry Seinfeld

Its not the men in my life that counts, its the life in my men. –Mae West

Ass, n.: The masculine of lass. –Unknown

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and
its our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until
they mature into something which youd like to have dinner
with. –Unknown

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the
impression he just cleaned the whole house. –Unknown