The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor
malady.

For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both
staff and the other patients, demanding attention and expecting his every
order to be followed immediately. He was in a six-man ward rather than a
private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the
light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities
interfered with his rest… and on, and on.

One afternoon an orderly entered the room. Time to take your temperature,
General.

After growling at the orderly, the general opened his mouth to accept the
thermometer.

Sorry, General, but for this test we need your temperature from the other
end.

A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent
that a rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last
rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed. The orderly
then told the general, Stay exactly like that and dont move. Ill be back
in five minutes to check up on you. and withdrew.

An hour later, the head nurse entered the room, saw the general with his
bare rear in the air and gasped, Whats going on here?

Havent you ever seen someone having their temperature taken? the general
barked.

Yes I have, General, but with a daffodil?

Bill Mullaney
Hewlett-Packard