Top 13 signs youre too old to be an astronaut
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- Your resume includes that job as Strom Thurmonds nanny.
- Your historic moonwalk speech? Ive fallen and I cant get up!
- Being on oxygen, wearing a waste bag, and eating pureed vegatables through a straw are old hat to you.
- Your 96 bid for the presidency didnt quite pan out.
- You cant remember the last time you experienced lift-off, if you know what I mean.
- Forget the Vomit Comet test plane – you failed the turnstile test.
- NASA fits you for a spacesuit support bra – but youre not female.
- Houston, were venting some sort of gas out into space… no wait, its just me.
- NASA isnt all that impressed that you already get all your meals from a tube.
- You can no longer see over the Shuttle steering wheel without your cushion.
- During take-off you keep yelling, If you kids dont knock off that racket, Im turning this thing around and were going straight home!
- Demand that liftoff be delayed because of time conflict with reruns of Murder, She Wrote and Matlock.
and the Number 1 Sign Youre Too Old to be an Astronaut…
- The last time you heard talk of strange rings around Uranus, it was from your doctor.
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