One advantage Clinton has over past presidents is that doesnt have to worry about how much time he should spend on his re-election campaign.

La esposa se ausenta del hogar por algunos días porque debe ir a otra ciudad a cuidar a su madre enferma y deja a la empleada María Soledad al cuidado de la casa. Al retornar, pregunta a su hijo qué tal lo habían pasado, y éste dice:

El miércoles hubo una horrible tempestad con truenos, rayos y relámpagos, y a mí me dio tanto miedo que María Soledad vino y durmió con yo.

Conmigo, corrige el padre.

¡No, eso fue el jueves!

Q: How do you know if a lawyer is lieing



A: If his mouth moves.

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesnt seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ¡§My friend is dead! What can I do?¡¨ The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: ¡§Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure hes dead.¡¨ There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guys voice comes back on the line. He says: ok, now what?

Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.

A Polish man finds a jeannie lamp on the beach, he rubs it and the jeannie
comes out and says: I grant you one wish.

He said to the jeannie, I want you to build me a bridge to Poland.

The jeannie said: No one can build a bridge that long,
you have to pick another wish.

He thinks for a minute and said: I want you to make all my family and friends in
Poland smart so people dont put them down.

The jeannie replies, How many lanes did you want on that bridge?

You are wasting your time.

Yo Mama is so fat and old, when God said Let there be light he immediately said to her Get your fat ass out of the way.

The chieftain of a remote village flew to the United States to visit the president. When he arrived at the airport, a host of newsmen and television cameramen met him. One of the reporters asked the chief if he had a comfortable flight.

The chief made a series of weird noises – screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z – and then added in perfect English, Yes, I had a very nice flight.

Another reporter asked, Chief, do you plan to visit the Washington Monument while youre in the area?

The chief made the same noises -screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z – and then said, Yes , and I also plan to visit the White House and the Capitol Building.

Where did you learn to speak such flawless English? asked the next reporter.

The chief replied, Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z – from the shortwave radio.

Once there were two birds and they were sitting high up in a tree. They looked down, and realized that the field below was covered with worms poking their heads out of their holes. Not wanting to miss this wonderful chance to feist, both birds flew down to the field and had a grand time eating as many of the worms as they could. When they tried to fly back up to their perch, they found out that they were too heavy and their wings wouldnt lift them. They decided to lie down underneath their tree in a warm sunny spot until all of their food was digested and they could fly back up into their tree, so they waddled over to the base of the tree and lied down. While the two birds were sleeping in the sun, along came a wolf and to his surprise and excitement saw two wonderful, sleeping, unsuspecting birds that would make a perfect lunch for him. So he went up to them, ate them, burped, and what did he say?Theres nothing like Baskin Robbins!