Little Johnnys dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.
Johnny enthusiastically announced that hed gotten a part.
I play a man whos been married for twenty years!, he said cheerfully.
Thats great, son. Keep up the good work! Before you know it, theyll give you a speaking part!
Scene: A crowded city bus.
Fat Lady: PTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPT!!! aaaaaahhhhh. Guy in the set in front of her: (gag)
One block farther along: Fat Lady: PTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPT!!!! Guy: (opens window)
A minute later: Fat Lady: PTPTPTPTPTPTPT! PTPTPTPTPT!
A couple of blocks along: Fat Lady: PTPTPTPT! Ptptptpt! Guy: (Sticks his head out the window.)
Another minute: Fat Lady: ptptpt. ptptpt.
A few minutes of silent stench later:
Fat broad: Pardon me, sir, would you happen to have the morning paper?
Guy: No – but the next time we pass a tree Ill reach out and try to grab some leaves for you.
why did jesus stop playing HoCkEy???…………………………………….cuz he kept getting nalied to the BoArDsssss!!
(and for all you religous people i didnt mean to affend you)
Dos muchachas iban a la escuela y tenÃan que pasar por un tianguis donde estaba un árabe sentado vendiendo cosas. Las dos jovenes pasaron frente a el y el arabe les pregunta, con su acento árabe:
¿Ustedes dos son hermanas?
Y una de ellas le responde: No, señor.
Al dÃa siguiente pasaron de nuevo y el árabe les vuelve a preguntar: ¿Ustedes dos son hermanas? y una le responde: No, señor.
Al siguiente dÃa volvieron a pasar y el árabe les pregunta: ¿Ustedes dos son hermanas? y la otra joven le responde: ¡Qué no, señor!.
Al dÃa siguiente antes de pasar una le dice a la otra: Si nos vuelve a preguntar le diremos que somos hermanas por que ya me enfadó.
Pasaron y el árabe les pregunta: ¿Ustedes dos son hermanas?
Y le contesta la joven: Si, señor, si somos hermanas.
Y el arabe les responde: ¡Pues no se parecen!
Act out your version of company takeover
Find a way to change everyones password to hellraiser
Around 3:20am, play connect the dots with lights still on in other office buildings
Sneaking in the bosss desk could land you an unexpected promotion
Draw stick people in all the landscape pictures on the walls, and in the morning, be the first to point out what a terrible thing that someone did this to such beautiful works of art
Go into the other genders bathroom without fear of being caught
Run up and down the hallways screaming, hoping security will call so you can have someone to talk to
Leave prank message on the CEOs voice mail
Finally, a chance to live out a dream and work naked at your desk
Elevator surfing!
BOY: Isnt the principal a dummy?!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY: No.
GIRL: Im the principals daughter.
BOY: And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY: Thank goodness!