I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
Thats the most amazing thing Ive seen, I said. That dog really seemed to enjoy the film.
The man turned to me and said, Yeah, it is. He hated the book.
Posted in Animal |
Yo mamam like a brick flat, dirty, and always gets laid by mexicans.
Posted in Yo Mama |
Eclipse e-klips: What an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper i-drop-ur: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes hee-rhos: What a guy in a boat does.
Posted in Terms and definitions |
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row !!
Blonde: Thats nothing; last night I had over hundred.
Brunette: My god ! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: (looking shocked) oh, you meant with one guy. . .
Posted in Blonde |
Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. Its too crowded.
Posted in One Liners |
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.Man discovered woman, invented sex.
Woman discovered sex, invented headache.Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money…Man was all screwed up after that.
Posted in Naughty |
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cellphone.
She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping.
Her phone rings and its her husband, Hi hun,he says how do you like your new phone?, she replies: I just love, its so small and your voice is clear as a bell but theres one thing I dont understand though.
Whats that, baby? asks the husband.
How did you know I was at Wal Mart?
Posted in Blonde |
A husband and wife were watching the news on television: The devastation
at the World Trade Center; the videos of people from different countries
around the world crying with Americans over events of the past few weeks;
reporters updating attempting to analyze political strategy; and
President Bush making speeches.The wife turned to the husband and said, You know, I thank God every
night that Bush is our President. I feel so safe knowing he is our
leader and that he will do the right thing. He is doing such a wonderful
job.The husband turned red in the face, gritted his teeth, clenched his fists
and screamed…JUST SHUT UP, TIPPER!
Posted in Political |
Beer nuts are $1, and deer nuts are always under a buck.
Posted in General / Unsorted |