Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1/100. A graduate student needs to change 100 lightbulbs a day.
29
May
29
May
Dos maricones se encuentran en la calle después de no haberse visto en mucho tiempo:
¡Manita, qué milagro que te dejas ver! ¿Dónde te habÃas metido?
¡Qué te cuento, estuve un mes engranada!
¿En Granada, España?
¡No, mensa, engranada de la cola!
29
May
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn!
29
May
Quit while your still behind.
29
May
29
May
OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast.
But did you know that:
660 Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666 Number of the Millibeast
/ 666 Beast Common Denominator
666 ^ (-1) Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 Binary of the Beast
6, uh… what was that number again?
Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666 Area code of the Beast
00666 Zip code of the Beast
1-900-666-0666 Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now!
Only $6.66/minute. Over 18 only please.
$665.95 Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 Price of the Beast with all accessories and
replacement soul
$656.66 Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66 Next weeks Walmart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 Way of the Beast
666 F Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell
National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6 Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 CPU of the Beast
666i BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised)
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668 Next-door neighbor of the Beast
333 The semi-Christ
665.9997856 The Number of the Beast on a Pentium
999 The inverted beast
29
May
Heard this one last night:
A man walks into an auto parts store and says
Id like a rear view mirror for my Yugo.
The man behind the counter thinks about this for
a while, then says, Yup, seems like a fair trade to
me.
29
May
I owe this gem to my younger daughter.
There was a friar who decided to open a florist shop to help raise money for his church. The shop was an instant success. But the friar grew to like being a florist and spent less and less time at his church and more and more time at the florist shop.
The church protested and asked the friar to spend less of his time at the shop. But the friar wouldnt listen and now spent all of his time at the florist shop. Hed grown very fond of being a florist.
The church decided to act. So Hugh the Ogre was sent to the friar. Hugh the Ogre placed a very powerful spell on the friar and the friar, accordingly, returned to the church.
The moral of the story is – are you ready for this? – only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
29
May
A beggar walked
up to a woman who was just about to go into a coffee shop and exclaimed,
"Lady, I havent eaten in a week."
"Wow!" exclaimed the woman, "I wish I had your will power."
29
May
You might be a redneck if…
The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "HEY!" or "How Yall Doin?" (If they respond with the same… theyre a redneck too!)