En una pelea de boxeo, el comentarista presenta a los rivales:
En esta esquina, pesando 300 lbs; con 55 peleas, 51 muertos, 3 heridos y 1 en cuidados intensivos: Kid Asesino.
La multitud aplaude como loca.
Y en esta otra esquina… Alguien agarre a ese boxeador… ¡Agárrenlo, agárrenlo!
The offices were very nice, and the clients were only raping the land, and
then, of course, there was the money..
Always remember to pillage before you burn.
Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
Arkansas MUST be pronounced Arkansaw.
Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
There was this guy, lets call him bob. One night Bob went to about 5 bars, and he drank, like, 17 beers.
After he was done with that, like any normally functioning person, he really had to go. So he asked the bartender where the bathroom was, and he went to where he thought it was.
Later that night, Bob was laying in bed trying to go to sleep, and he was thought, wait a minute.. there was a golden toilet!! Right then he got up and went out to find the special toilet. He had hit 5 bars that night, so he went to the first one, asked where the bathroom was, when he went and looked, there was no golden toilet.
This continued until he got to the last bar, he was really tired by then, and rather then going to look for the toilet himself, he asked the bartender, do you by any chance have a golden toilet here? and the bartender said to another person that was there, hey! I think I found the guy who crapped in the tuba!!!
It seems that there were twin brothers by the name of Jones, John and Joe. John was married and Joe was single. Joe was the proud owner of a dilapidated boat. It so happened that Joes boat sank on the same day that Johns wife died.A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street, and mistaking him for John said: I was sorry to hear of your great loss, and you must feel terrible. Joe replied; Well, I am not a bit sorry. She was a rotten old thing from the start. Her bottom was all chewed up, and she smelled of old fish. The first time I got into her she made water faster that anything I ever saw. She had a crack and a pretty big hole in front that kept getting bigger and bigger every time that I used her. It got so I could handle her all right, but when someone else was using her she leaked like anything. This is what finished her off: Four guys from the other side of town came down looking for a good time. They asked if I could rent her to them. I warned them that she wasnt so hot, but the crazy fools all tried to get into her at the same time. It was too much for her and she cracked right up the middle! THE OLD LADY FAINTED.
A man lay spread out over three seats in the second row of a movie theater.
As he lay there breathing heavily, an usher came over and said, Thats very rude of you, sir, taking up three seats. Didnt you learn any manners! Where did you come from?
The man looked up helplessly and said, The balcony!
What do men consider a 50-50 relationship?
We cook, they eat! We clean, they dirty! We iron, they wrinkle!