A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender…
Brunette: Ill have a B and C. Bartender:What is a B and C?. Brunette: Bourbon and Coke.
Redhead: And, Ill have a G and T. Bartender: Whats a G and T? Redhead: Gin and tonic.
Blonde: Ill have a
15. Bartender: Whats a 15? Blonde: 7 and 7
T-shirt sighting – worn by woman, caption situated exactly over her left breast – Im a fermata – hold me.
An avid church goer and NASCAR fan died and went to heaven. Upon entering, this person noticed pro driver Alan Kulwickis race car, and asked St. Peter about it. St. Peter said Alan was in heaven and his car was on display.
Walking a little further, the man sees Davey Allisons car. Once again he inquired to St. Peter about it.
Davey Allison is also in heaven. In fact, Gods a BIG NASCAR fan, so when drivers die, their race cars get put on display.
Walking further, the individual came upon Jeff Gordons #24 Chevrolet – the phenomenal kid who is breaking every record on the racing circuit. At this sight, the new heaven dweller panicked!
Oh, No! St. Peter, Jeff Gordon was about to win the Championship this year, and you mean to tell me he has just died?!?
No, no, St. Peter chuckled, Thats Gods car. He lets Jeff use it on weekends.
Honk if Bill Clinton says youre rich!
three men walk into a bar you would think the last one would of seen it
You might be a redneck if your trucks roof is higher than your trailers.
Va Venancio por una calle oscura junto a su amigo Manolo. De repente salen tres hombres de la oscuridad.
Manolo sale corriendo y queda Venancio solo y desamparado, a la merced de los forajidos.
Cuando están por pegarle y dejarlo sin sus pertenencias, aparece un hombre a caballo vestido de negro, con antifaz negro, sombrero negro, capa negra, con una Z dibujada en la espalda, una Z dibujada en el sombrero, una Z en el pecho y una Z en la montura del caballo.
Baja les pega con su espada a los ladrones, los hiere, les dibuja una Z en las ropas a cada uno, y los pone en retirada.
Venancio, agradecido, se tira a sus pies y le dice:
¡Gracias ZUPERMAN!
Iba un estadounidense con un tontilandés en un barco, cuando de repente el gringo se cae al agua y comienza a gritar:
¡Help! ¡Help!
Y el tontilandés responde:
A joder, gel no tengo pero si quieres te puedo dar spray.
Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories. One man says, I had the worst Freudian Slip the other day.
The other man responds, What is a Freudian Slip?
You know, its when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about. Like the other day I was at the airport and this really beautiful lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for two tickets to Pittsburgh, I asked her for to Pickets to Tittsburgh.
The second replies, Oh, now I know what you are talking about. Its like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the Orange Juice, and instead I said, YOU RUINED MY LIFE BITCH!
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Q. How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A. She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
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Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A. Look! They spelled MACYs wrong!
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Q. Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A. Her blinker was on.
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Q. What do you call a blond skeleton in a clothes closet?
A. The 1960 hide-and-go-seek champion.
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Q. How did the blonde hurt herself while raking the leaves?
A. She fell out of the tree
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Q. How do you get a twinkle in a blondes eye?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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Q. Why did God give every blonde two more brain cells than a cow?
A. So they dont moo-moo when you pull on their tits.
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Q. How do blonde brain cells die?
A. Alone.
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