BETTER TO BE A JOCK OR A NERD?
To help you in formulating your answer, the following should be considered:
Michael Jordan will make more than $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game. Assuming he also makes $40 million in endorsements next year, he will be making $178,000 a day, working or not.
If he goes to see a movie, it will cost him $8.00 (without popcorn and drink), but will make $18,500 while he is there.
If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he will make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415 per hour more than minimum wage, even after the wage hike.
He will make $3,710 while watching each episode of FRIENDS. If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX (cost $90,000), it will take him a whole 12 hours to earn the money.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at a rate of 2 dollars every second. He will probobly pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but then will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income in to his tax deferred acct (401K), he will hit the federal cap of $9,500 for such acts at 8:30 am on Jan 1st.
If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar Michael made, you would be living comfortably at $65,000 a yeaar.
Michael will make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics. He will make about $15,600 while the Boston Marathon (26 miles) is being run by the winner.
During the time the commom person is spending about $20.00 for a meal in Michaels trendy Chhicago resteraunt, Michael will make more than twice as much as all the past presidents have made in all their terms combined. PRETTY AMAZING HUH?
…….BUT Michael Jordan will have to save 100 percent of his income for 270 years to have a NET worth equivalent to that of Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft.
NOW WHICH WOULD YOU RATHER BE???????
The Democratic National Committee finally released thousands of pages of
financial disclosure information. Says Vince Vieceli, Unfortunately,
they released them from a third-floor balcony in New York during the
parade for the Yankees.
Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.
If you do what you have always done,
You will get what you have always gotten.
Yo mamas so dumb she tried to throw a stone at the ground but she missed.
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You dont give a rats ass if someone notices your new haircut.
- The world is your urinal.
- Hot wax never comes near your private areas.
- You never have to drive to another gas station because this ones just too icky.
- Same work … more pay.
- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
- Wrinkles add character.
- You dont have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
- If you retain water, its in a canteen.
- People never glance at your chest when youre talking to them.
- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
- New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with So, notice anything different?
- One mood, ALL the damn time …
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You dont have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking He must be mad at me.
- You dont mooch off each others desserts.
- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.
- You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- You dont have to shave below your neck.
- Your belly usually hides your big hips
- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
- You can do your nails with a pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- Christmas shopping can easily be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th … in 45 minutes.
God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.
God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctors, dentist or haircut appointment for himself.
God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
As Keeper of the Garden Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
And finally, the number ONE reason that God created Eve…
When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, I can do better than that.
This message is done on 100% recycled electrons.
A lonely divorcee was driving home from work one evening when she saw a man trying to hitch a ride. She picked him up and they got to talking.
What do you do? she asked him. I recently escaped from prison for having killed my wife. Oh, does that mean you are available?
Whats grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.Whats even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
One night, a cabby picked up a nun. While he was driving, the cabby suddenly started to laugh insanely.
Why are you laughing? Asked the nun.
Oh, Its nothing. said the cabby.
No, really. said the nun I wont mind.
So the Cabby told her:
Well, Its really silly but Ive always had this fantasy of having a blow job done by a nun.
Well then, whats your name? The nun asked
Robert
Are you married?
No.
Are you christian?
Yes.
Then Pull into the next alley.
The cabby was stunned. but he didnt want to give up this chance so he pulled into the next alley. When they were finished, they returned to the cab.
While driving, the cabby started to cry.
Why are you crying? asked the nun
Im sorry, Ive lied.
How so?
Well, My name is David, I have a wife and three children, and Im Jewish.
Well, Ive done a bit of lying too… smiled the nun My name is George and Im going to a costume party.