posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six
> oclock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the
> Clifton
> Suspension Bridge on to the busy road below.
>
> Posh turns to Becks and says: David, I bet you 5,000 that he jumps!
> to
> which Beckham replies 5,000? Done! I bet that he doesnt. So they
> shake
> hands on the bet and continue watching.
>
> Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud.
> Beckham
> takes 5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh. But she
> refuses.
> I
> cant take your money, David, she says. The truth is, I was cheating.
> I
> saw the five oclock news, so I knew he was going to jump.
>
> No, babe, fairs fair says David. That money is yours fair and
> square. I
> was cheating just as you were. I saw the five oclock news, too. I
> just
> didnt think he would do it again.
Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent.
yo momaso ugly when she was born they had to feed her with a sling shot
What do you call a woman outside the kitchen?
Answer: A fugitive
Surveytakers asked a sizable sampling of recent MBA graduates to name the person they most admired.
The candidate who came in first was Father.
Second were Mother and Bill Gates, tied.
San Francisco Chronicle 7/21/96
A woman was having a medical problem – her husband snoring.
So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her suffering.
Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras.
My goodness! the woman exclaimed, sounds like leasing a new sports car!
Humm, the doctor murmured, too obvious, huh?
[Ed: Picked this up from rec.arts.movies, where a discussion of subliminal
ads in movies ensues. ]
I would like to thank all of the folks who emailed me about the subliminal
Pepsi ads in Top Gun. As was pointed out more than once, here and in mail,
the advertisements arent really subliminal if you can perceive them conciously.
<drink Pepsi> I know what subliminal means <drink Pepsi> as opposed to
superliminal, or ultraliminal, or megaliminal, or liminal, or whatever the
correct phraseology is. <you love Pepsi> This kind of advertisement, though,
while not totally invisible <drink Pepsi> is still real hard to see… Ive
seen Top Gun a total of six times now, and never noticed the Pepsi tray until
my sixth time, on cable. After running the tape back thru again, I could tell
that the Pepsi <drink drink drink Pepsi> logo was really there–not just a
red-white-and-blue <Pepsi> smear.
Perhaps we need a new phrase for this half-overt advertising <bathe in Pepsi>.
I propose the term mood-advertising, or perhaps musak-vertising … something
which while there, you have to concentrate to perceive <Pepsi sex>. Once we
put a name to this dread disease, we can set about finding a cure.
Gosh, Im thirsty.
David Paulsen …uunet.UU.NET!nuchat!seven
Youve ever re-used a paper plate.
Smith and Wesson attended your wedding without an invitation and there was nothing you could do about it.
When you hear someone talking about the king you dont know whether theyre talking about Elvis or Richard Petty.
Q: What does Hillary have in common with the city of Buffalo?
A: They both have Bills that are losers.
When in doubt, mumble.