12
Oct

Bill y Hillary estn manejando

Bill y Hillary están manejando cerca del pueblo natal de Hillary. Se detienen en una gasolinera. El empleado sale y comienza a llenar el tanque. En esto mira al asiento del pasajero y dice, Oye, Hillary. ¿Te acuerdas de mí? Salíamos juntos en Secundaria.

Hillary y el empleado platican por unos minutos, Bill paga y siguen su camino.

Más adelante, Bill le dice a Hillary, con tono burlón: ¿Tú salías con ese tipo? ¿Te imaginas lo que sería si te hubieras casado con él?

Hillary lo mira, se encoge de hombros y le dice, Bueno, supongo que tú estarías despachando en una gasolinera y el sería el Presidente…

12
Oct

Burger King

Your momma is so old . . .

She knew Burger King when he was a prince!

12
Oct

Knock Knock Whos there? Grammar! Grammar who! Grammar crackers.

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Grammar!
Grammar who!
Grammar crackers. Pretty crummy!

12
Oct

Complex problems have simple, easy

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.

12
Oct

Youre so nasty…

Youre so nasty the only person that screws you is your cat, and thats only because your privates smell like fish.

12
Oct

Yo mama so fat…

Yo mama is so fat that she was floating in the ocean and somebody stuck a flag in her and claimed her in the name of Spain.

12
Oct

I am

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with I.

ELLEN: I is–

TEACHER: No Ellen. Always say, I am.

ELLEN: All right . . . I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

12
Oct

Kinky Sex

Theres this young couple, Louise and Al, theyve been married for about a year, and the bride isnt getting any sex. Just about every night hubby comes home, has a shower, gets changed and goes down to the pub. Shes getting increasingly rampant as the days go on,

but each night she is disappointed.

Al comes home every night completely hammered and unfit for sexual activity. One particular night when Al gets in from work, Louise is seated provocatively on the sofa, wearing the skimpiest dress she has, suspenders, stockings, and very sexy lace panties and bra.

As is always the case, Al comes home runs upstairs, gets ready and goes to the pub. Once again Louise is rejected, so she sits back with a bottle of wine to console herself. Then at 11 pm (well before normal) she hears Al coming up the driveway and opening the front door. Louise re-adopts her sexually provocative pose on the sofa and to her surprise, Als first words are, Right woman, get upstairs – into the bedroom.

YES! she says under her breath as she runs upstairs, This is the night, Im gonna get some!

When Louise reaches the bedroom, she removes her outer garments and sits on the edge of the bed in her black lace panties – ready for Al, as he stomps up the stairs. As Al pushes the bedroom door open he says, Right, now get your clothes off!

Louise doesnt need telling twice, its off with everything. Now get over in front of the mirror..,

Kinky! she thinks. Great!

and do a handstand…

Oh god, Ive been waiting for this for ages, thinks Louise…

Al walks over to Louise, parts her legs and places his chin in her crotch… Perhaps the guys at the bar were right, a beard would suit me!

11
Oct

Yo mama is so ugly

Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

11
Oct

Reason to stay at work all night

1. Act out your version of a company takeover.