An old Jewish man was once on the subway and he sat down next to a younger man. He noticed that the young man had a strange kind of shirt collar. Having never seen a priest before, he asked the man, Excuse me sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?
The priest became a bit flustered but politely answered I wear this collar because I am a Father.
The Jewish man thought a second and responded Sir I am also a Father but I wear my collar front-ways. Why do you wear your collar so differently?
The priest thought for a minute and said Sir, I am the father for many.
The Jewish man quickly answered I too am the father of many. I have four sons, four daughters and too many grandchildren to count. But I wear my collar like everyone else does. Why do you wear it your way?
The priest who was beginning to get exasperated thought and then blurted out Sir, I am the father for hundreds and hundreds of people.
The Jewish man was taken aback and was silent for a long time. As he got up to leave the subway train, he leaned over to the priest and said Mister, maybe you should wear your pants backwards.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
There was a guy in the middle of the desert and his car broke down.
He started walking and he came to a monastery, where he asked them if he could borrow a mule.
The monks lent him one, and they explained that you had to say Thank the Lord! to make it go and Amen! to make it stop.
So the man said, Thank the Lord, thank the Lord and thank the Lord! and the mule took off! He was coming to the edge of a cliff and he forgot how to make it stop.
Finally, at the very edge he remembered, Amen! The guy was so relieved he shouted, Thank the Lord!
Posted in Religious |
Algunas cosas a las suegras:
¡Que viva mi suegra!
Lejos de mi casa.
En una lápida:
Aquà descansa mi suegra.
Y en mi casa todos nosotros.
Dichoso Adán… ¡Nunca conoció a su suegra!
A la suegra hay que enterrarla boca abajo… Por si acaso se despierta y escarba ¡se hunda más!
A las suegras es mejor no velarlas luego de muertas… ¡Nadie garantiza que no se despierten en el funeral!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Why didnt the skeleton cross the road?
He didnt have the guts!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
There was a blonde going down a highway, and was swerving left, and right, left, and right, and she continues to do this for about a mile on down the road. Finally a police man pulls her over and asks, Madam, if you dont mind me asking, what are you doing?!?!!?
The blonde says, I have to keep swerving or else i will wreck and hit the tree!! The police man says. Madam, thats not a tree, its your air freshener.
Posted in Blonde |
Q: How many UNC-Pembroke students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The whole student body, theres nothing better to do on weekends.
Posted in Lightbulb |
A big, burly man visited the pastors home and asked to see the ministers wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. Madam, he said in a broken voice, I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.How terrible! exclaimed the preachers wife. May I ask who you are?The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. Im the landlord, he sobbed.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards?
A: A new age song.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
… one drunk Irishman …
Posted in Ethnic |
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Thumpin!
Thumping who?
Thumping green and slimy is climbing up your back!
Posted in Knock-knock |