A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it. Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, Well, Im done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.
Posted in Blonde |
A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the bank floor, took the dog by the chain, and started swinging him around his head.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared. The other customers were taken aback and some were very upset at the way the animal was being treated. One of the tellers ran up to the blind man and asked, Sir, what are you doing!?!
The man turned toward the teller and said, Oh, nothing – just looking around.
Posted in Animal |
Food stamps are rationed so what makes you think government-run health care wont be?
Posted in Political |
Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, once the documentation for the procedure is found in one of the 15 manuals on the shelf.
Posted in Lightbulb |
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first ones knee from jerking.
Posted in Lightbulb |
Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper? So she could lip read.
Posted in Blonde |
David Beckhams son Romeo grows up 2 be a footballer like his dad!
Just before the match Romeo says to his coach what number shall i wear on the field, my da wore number 7 what bout me?
His coach says,
Romeo, Romeo, Wear-4-out-there-Romeo
Posted in General / Unsorted |
It is okay to be ignorant in some areas, but some people abuse the privilege.
Posted in Business |
Q: Why isnt gambling allowed in Africa?
A: Because of all the cheetahs.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florists son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said "I bet I know what it is — its some flowers!"
"Thats right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owners daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said "I bet I know what it is — its a box of candy!"
"Thats right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owners son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
What is it?"
"A puppy!"
Posted in Animal |