As sex education is being taught at a younger age these days little Johnny is in class one day when the teacher begins the days sex lesson. Todays letter is the letter p and the word is penis.
Little Johnny can hardly contain himself and blurts out, I know what that is! I know! I know!! My daddy has two of them!
He has a little one he goes pee with…and a great big one he brushes the baby sitters teeth with!
Why does California have the most attorneys, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste dumps?
New Jersey got first pick.
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
73. Skip to the bathroom.
And Jesus said to the Mexicans
Dont do anything until I get back.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost.
He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am.
The woman below replied, You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.
You must be an engineer, said the balloonist.
I am, replied the woman. How did you know?
Well, answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, youve not been much help so far.
The woman below responded, You must be in management.
I am, replied the balloonist, but how did you know?
Well, said the woman, you dont know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.
The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault!
Why do they put a suicide watch on certain death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man youre planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?
I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him.
Apparently, just to anger him.
There was this guy and he had a girlfriend named Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.
One day he went to work and found that a new girl had started working there. Her name was Kleerly and she was absolutely gorgeous.
He became quite besotted with Kleerly and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too.
But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldnt do anything with Kleerly while he was still going out with Lorraine.
He decided that there was nothing left to do but to break up with Lorraine and continue with the Kleerly.
He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldnt bring himself to do it.
Then one day they went for a walk along the riverbank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned.
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing . . . I can see Kleerly now Lorraine has gone.